My fellow Americans: It is once again time to celebrate the independence of our great nation by doing the one thing that we really do best: Blow shit up. It is a time-honored tradition that every year on the Fourth of July we recklessly set off explosives, even when we’re not supposed to. There truly is something captivating about seeing fireworks giving off amazing colors and patterns in the night sky. But I know the truth: It’s just a way to keep us occupied while aliens take over the earth. You can’t fool me, space aliens! I’m on to you!! To defend ourselves against the (space)alien menace, I have compiled a list of highly destructive forms of……destruction to show the aliens that we don’t need them to blow us up. WE CAN DO IT OURSELVES!! Wait….where was I going with this? Damned tin foil hats. Shoddy craftsmanship. Ummm….well, to celebrate Independence Day, here’s a list of Best Moments of Mass Destruction ever put on film.
Transformers: Age Of Extinction – The Whole Movie
Michael Bay’s Transformers movies have always been pretty dumb. But I’ll be damned if they weren’t fun, as long as it wasn’t Revenge of the Fallen. That one was trash. Age of Extinction is basically the cinematic equivalent of a thermonuclear explosion. It’s pretty to look at it, but it knocks you on your ass and is loud and relentless. You may end up blind and deaf after watching this movie. It’s non-stop action for two and a half hours, but I will say this: The Dinobots are freaking awesome.
Independence Day – City Destruction
I went over this one in my Best Visual Effects list, but it deserves another mention here. The methods used to make this sequence happen was extraordinary. Utilizing nearly every trick in the book, it ended up being pretty convincing that these particular aliens were not to be messed with….unless you have an Apple computer. This was the biggest movie of 1996. 24 years ago. Has it really been that long? It still holds up pretty well after all this time.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – Destruction of Jedha
By this point, everybody knows about the Death Star and how much of a planet killer it is. What A New Hope DIDN’T show you, is what actually happens on the surface of the planet that’s being fired on. Granted, the power used in Rogue One was minimal, but even the bare minimum power used was able to obliterate an entire city. It wasn’t just the city, either. Hundreds upon hundreds of square miles were literally uprooted when the blast hit. So, now we’ve seen the Death Star’s destructive force at both full and minimal power. It’s pretty impressive, regardless.
Armageddon – Meteorites
This is the second Michael Bay film on this list, and it’s for a reason. The guy has a serious knack for destruction. Say what you will about his movies, but you have to admit that Michael Bay has some style when it comes to blowing things up. Armageddon came out back in 1998 and it mostly holds up as a piece of popcorn entertainment. I mean, how can you go wrong with Bruce Willis leading a rag-tag group of oil drillers to a Texas-sized asteroid? You can’t, that’s how. The effects are fantastic and the level of destruction is pretty epic. It’s Michael Bay. If you go into a Michael Bay movie expecting something like Citizen Kane, you’ve got your priorities crossed.
Deep Impact – Comet
Yeah, I know. TWO movies about destructive space bodies hitting the planet? Here’s the thing: There is a realistic chance that we could get hit by a massive meteor or comet and the destruction that it would cause would be beyond imagination. Personally, I’d rather watch it happen in a movie. Deep Impact was one of two movies about meteors released in 1998. The other film being Armageddon. While that film was far more action-packed, Deep Impact took a more slow-burning approach. It wanted to build up to the final impact. By doing so, the film allowed for more character development so that you would actually FEEL something when disaster strikes. It’s the better film of the two, in my opinion. Besides, poor New York always gets decimated in a disaster flick. Why the hate for New York, disaster movies? Besides, Morgan Freeman plays the President in this film, and who wouldn’t want that?
Terminator 2: Judgment Day – Nightmare
While the other entries on this list are entertaining, for the most part, this one is a little bit more disturbing. There are a number of reasons why this is a disturbing sequence. In Terminator 2 this nuclear explosion is a nightmare that’s plagued the character of Sarah Connor for years, leading her to end up in a mental institute. The description that she gives earlier in the movie matches what we see in her dream and it’s brutal. The nuke goes off and the effect that it has on people is incredibly unsettling, but it was meant to be. It was meant to show the horror of a nuclear holocaust, which is what the characters in the film are trying to prevent. It’s a harrowing sequence in an awesome movie.
Shin Godzilla – Atomic Breath
Now, what would a Mass Destruction list be without something from a Godzilla movie? Woefully inadequate, that’s what. This is a movie monster that’s been around since 1954. He’s one of the most, if not THE most, iconic movie monsters in cinema history. The original film came out in 1954, not even a decade after the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan. In fact, the purpose of the creature was to illustrate the dangers and consequences of nuclear power. Most people are familiar with the campy and cheesy flicks of the 60s and 70s. The original black and white film was dead serious. Now, Godzilla has gone through several iterations over the decades, including the…..1998 film. I still refuse to call that overgrown iguana Godzilla. While America would get another shot at the famous Kaiju(giant monster), Japan would finally take another crack at it following a ten year hiatus. The result is Shin Godzilla. It’s a pretty damn good movie. The highlight of the film is when Godzilla finally uses his atomic breath….and it’s beautifully destructive. Tokyo gets leveled….again.
2012 – Yellowstone
Ah, Yellowstone. Home to geysers, buffalo, canyons, and oh, yeah: A massive supervolcano. That’s right: Yellowstone is a massive supervolcano that’s only erupted three times in the last 100 million years or so. Do we have to worry about it going off tomorrow? Not likely. Even if it did, it would probably wouldn’t happen exactly like it does in the film, 2012. In the film, the whole place goes up because of some weak-sauce pseudo-science mumbo-jumbo. That being said, it is a pretty spectacular sequence. I have to say, nobody does disaster movies quite like Roland Emmerich. 2012 is a purely “what-if” scenario that really has no basis in reality. With that in mind, it’s a pretty fun movie, especially if you like disaster/apocalypse movies.
See, space aliens? You don’t need to to blow us up. It’ll either be us or mother nature! We’ve got you beat! Hold on a second…..
In all seriousness, though, I hope everybody out there has a safe 4th of July. Wear your masks and do your proper social distancing, but also have a good time. Don’t be stupid with fireworks and accidentally set stuff on fire….that’s what professionals are for. This is Major Tom signing off. Have a happy 4th of July!!!