Month: August 2019

Released: April 1985

Director: Richard Donner

Run Time: 121 Minutes

Rated PG-13

Distributor: 20th Century Fox/Warner Bros.

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure

Cast:
Rutger Hauer: Navarre
Michelle Pfeiffer: Isabeau
Matthew Broderick: Gaston
Leo McKern: Imperius
John Wood: Bishop

The 80’s was a very special time in terms of film, especially in film quality.  The world saw some of the biggest movies ever released during this decade: Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Willow, The Terminator, Conan The Barbarian, Aliens, Rambo, and a slew of many other movies.  A lot of these films ended up being very successful and launched the careers of various film-makers like James Cameron.  There were also a number of films that were NOT as successful, especially in the fantasy genre.  Legend, which was directed by Ridley Scott after he did Blade Runner, was not particularly well-received at home or abroad.  In fact, the film that Europe got was a very different cut than what we got here in the States.  I didn’t think it was a bad movie.  Far from it, it was fantastic.  Krull was another fantasy film that fell by the way-side, although to be fair, Krull had the misfortune of being released at nearly the same time as Return of the Jedi.  Guess which movie people went to see?  Again, it was not a terrible film and had some really solid execution and fantasy sequences.  There is another fantasy film that was released during this decade that I think a lot of people have kind of glossed over, and it’s a shame as it is a really damn good movie: Ladyhawke

Ladyhawke tells the story of two star-crossed lovers cursed by an evil and jealous bishop.  Former captain Navarre is human by day, but becomes a black wolf by night.  His lover, Isabeau, is human by night, but a hawk by day.  Neither one remembers the moments they spent in animal form.  The film opens as a young thief, Gaston escapes from a notorious prison.  As he outruns the bishop’s guards, he bumps into Navarre, who has returned to exact his revenge on the bishop that cursed him and his lover.  When it comes to fantasy narratives, Ladyhawke is one of the most traditional in terms of its structure and characterizations.  That’s not really a bad thing, because this is the kind of fantasy film where you just sit back and enjoy the ride.  It’s not overly dark in tone.  In fact, this is one of the most optimistic fantasy films that I’ve ever seen.  It’s a nice break from the doom-and-gloom of such tales as Game of Thrones and The Lord of the Rings.  When I said that the film has a very familiar structure, I mean that the film follows the basic plot of a noble warrior who returns from exile to seek retribution for the wrong that was done to him and the one he loves.  Along the way, he meets a lovable roguish character and a broken down old man seeking redemption.  Ladyhawke is a classic tale in every sense of the word and I enjoyed every minute of it.

The performances in Ladyhawke are really strong across the board.  The highlights of the film are Rutger Hauer as Navarre and Michelle Pfeiffer as Isabeau.  Despite the fact that these two don’t really share the screen a whole lot, there is some really strong chemistry between the two characters that feels real.  Michelle was(and still is) a stunning woman with striking blue eyes.  For the ladies out there, Rutger Hauer was also a very striking actor during the mid-80s, also with blue eyes.  You have these two characters that are pining for each other, but can’t be with each other.  Hauer and Pfeiffer are able to make that kind of melancholy all the more tragic.  Rutger Hauer was always one of the most underrated actors of his generation.  His performance as Roy Batty in Blade Runner was nothing short of iconic.  It’s a shame he never really got the break that he deserved in the States.  Michelle Pfeiffer on the other hand, would go on to have a solid career, with her most notable role being Catwoman in Batman Returns.  Leo McKern plays the former priest, Imperius, who was inadvertently responsible for Navarre and Isabeau being cursed.  He’s absolutely fantastic as a character that’s been beaten down by life.  John Wood plays the evil bishop who was jealous of the two lovers, and I have to say that he does a pretty good job at being an arrogant and overly self-righteous church leader that sold his soul to the devil.  The one actor that stands out in this film, and not in a good way, is Matthew Broderick as Gaston.  I don’t blame Broderick, as his performance was pretty solid, but he was not really the right person to play the character.  That and the film gave him top billing despite that the fact that the film was focused on Rutger Hauer’s and Michelle Pfeiffer’s characters.  It’s not as bad a casting decision as say….Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but Broderick sticks out like a sore thumb.

This film is absolutely beautiful, not just in terms of its story and characters, but also in how it’s shot.  The film was shot on location in Italy, but the wide shots of the surrounding landscapes and mountain ranges are jaw-dropping.  The costume designs are elaborate and colorful.  Special effects are pretty minimal here, as the transformations are nothing more than camera-tricks, with occasional contact lenses in an actor’s eyes.  There are also some action sequences that are pretty decent, but the best action sequence is the final sword battle at the end of the film between Navarre and the bishop’s captain of the guard.  It’s pretty good, with some pretty solid choreography.  Everything is filmed so you can actually see what’s going on.  Movies aren’t really made this way a whole lot anymore.  A lot of film-makers rely on close-ups and shaky-cam techniques to sell the action.  The one thing that I can say that really does the film a HUGE disservice is the music.  This is the kind of film that demands a serious composer like James Horner, Jerry Goldsmith or John Williams.  Instead, they got Andrew Powell and Alan Parsons of the Alan Parsons Project.  The rock and roll aspect of the film, feels really out of place in a film like this, while the orchestral stuff sounds really damn good.  It’s distracting as both kinds of music seem to be fighting each other instead of complimenting one another.  This was an issue that was present in the North American release of Legend that used Tangerine Dream, but at least the music there seemed to actually compliment the visual aesthetic of that particular film.  Here, it’s very bizarre outside of the opening and closing credits.  That’s a rather large mark against Ladyhawke.

Ladyhawke has become a bit of a cult classic over the years.  Despite the fact that the film performed poorly at the box office, it was still fairly well received by audiences around the world.  The film even got nominated for some Academy Awards: Best Sound, Best Effects and Sound Effects Editing.  While the film is definitely not perfect, especially with the goofy soundtrack and a miscast Matthew Broderick, Ladyhawke still manages to be a very compelling, romantic, and exciting fantasy adventure that can be enjoyed by audiences of all ages.  If you were ever a fan of Rutger Hauer and/or Michelle Pfeiffer, Ladyhawke is well worth your time.  Beautifully shot, wonderfully acted and a traditional yet compelling story to boot, Ladyhawke is one of the most underrated fantasy films of all time.  It’s timeless in nearly every way.

My Final Recommendation: Don’t shoot hawks, they might be people in animal form.  8.5/10

Released: May 2018(Greece)

Director: Ezra Tsegaye

Not Rated

Run Time: 85 Minutes

Distributor: Botchco Films

Genre: Horror/Comedy

Cast:
Nicolas Artajo: Daniel Jebsen
Nicolas Szent: Ben Jebsen
Barbara Prakopenka: Sasha Blue
Dieter Landuris: Prediger
Thomas Schmuckert: Lederkalle

When it comes to horror films, one of my favorite subjects is the supernatural.  You know: Demons, possession, Satanic rituals, witches, all that jazz.  I don’t consider myself a believer in such things, but there is something inherently compelling about what lies beyond the mortal world.  Is there a Heaven?  Is there a Hell?  Nobody knows, but I still find the subject to be very interesting.  So, when a film comes out that deals with the supernatural and the end of the world, I tend to pay attention a little bit.  There have been a lot of great supernatural films over the decades: Warlock, The Exorcist, The Evil Dead, The Witch, and Hellraiser just to name a few.  The part of the supernatural genre that seems to get the short end of the stick these days is demonic possession.  It’s a terrifying idea that you lose all control when an evil force takes over your body.  It’s spooky, when done right.  I’ve seen a lot of movies, however, that weren’t done right.  There’s a movie that came out of Germany about a year ago that’s trying to rejuvenate interest in the sub-genre: Skin Creepers.  Does it succeed?  Let’s find out.

Skin Creepers follows two bumbling film-makers as they attempt to make their own pornographic film.  Failing at nearly every turn, Dan and Ben Jebsen turn to a local pimp to hire out some prostitutes to act in their….”film.”  Meanwhile, they retain the services of an American actress, Sasha Blue.  When they bring her to a hotel, she becomes possessed by a demon.  Apparently, the room she was staying in, had a history with failed exorcisms.  After witnessing Sasha Blue attack one of the prostitutes, they drag her back to the hotel and tie her up whilst trying to figure out what to do next.  Meanwhile, the pimp is not happy with what’s been going on, and decides to take matters into his own hands.  On paper, the story isn’t actually half-bad.  In fact, aspects of the story are pretty amusing.  A demon-possessed porn star?  Why not.  A bizarre priest with a holy chicken bone?  Count me in.  However, the execution of the story is problematic.  First of all, the tone of the film is all over the place.  Schizophrenic, if you will.  Sometimes, it’s trying to be a comedy and other times it’s trying to be horror film, but the two tones are constantly clashing with each other that makes for a very inconsistent experience.  I’m not going to lie:  I’m not a big fan of comedy.  I don’t mind comedic elements, but when a film tries to be a comedy, it often fails for me, because it tends to be forced, and that’s part of my problem with Skin Creepers.  The horror elements, however, are actually pretty good, but I’ll talk about those a bit later.  For the most part, the film kind of knows what it is and it goes with it, I just think the tone needed to be a little bit more on point and more consistent.  Also, there’s a whole lot of back and forth between 1976 and present day.  It feels pretty jarring at times, and it often doesn’t quite work.

This film is from Germany, so I can forgive certain issues with translation with some of the writing and dialogue.  However, I can’t really get behind some of the writing because it often doesn’t feel natural, at least not to me.  Then again, that also might be an issue with the translation.  So, the writing doesn’t quite work for me.  The same thing can be said of the acting.  I just wasn’t buying the two leads as wannabe film-makers.  There doesn’t seem to be any chemistry between the actors.  I’m not necessarily blaming Artajo and Szent, but they didn’t really work for me.  Barbara Prakopenka plays Sasha Blue, the demon-possessed porn star.  I’ve gotta give it this gal for going all in with the whole spoiled/possessed porn star angle.  She was clearly willing to do a lot of her own stunts, some of which look very uncomfortable, so I have to give credit where it’s due.  She was fantastic.  Dieter Landuris plays Prediger, a disgraced priest.  This guy’s great.  He does lend a bit of humor to the film, but the character does feel genuine, so that was pretty good.  Thomas Schmuckert plays Lederkalle, the pimp who let the Jebsen brothers hire his girls for their film.  The character is definitely a sleazebag, but Schmuckert does a pretty good job with it.  For the most part, the acting is pretty good for a film with this small of a budget.

While I can’t say that I’m impressed with the comedic elements of the film, what definitely DOES work are the horror elements.  It does get pretty spooky at times.  While some of the CG effects are kind of sketchy, they aren’t really that bad for a film like this and they seem fairly appropriate.  The practical effects, though, are very impressive.  The gore and the blood are all practical.  Some of the make-up effects are out of this world.  The possessed Sasha Blue is really creepy with those blood-red eyes.  The whole head-exploding thing is actually pretty cool, even though I’m not entire sure that being possessed would cause your head to explode?  Strange, but I can go with it.  The last 20 or so minutes of the film are straight horror madness and I loved it.  It’s bizarre, gruesome, and just totally bonkers.

Don’t go in to Skin Creepers expecting The Exorcist.  It’s nowhere near the same league.  However, if you approach this film with a certain mindset, i.e. looking for some goofy supernatural fun, you’re probably going to walk away from this one pretty satisfied.  In all honesty, though, I can’t give the film my full recommendation because of some of the issues that I mentioned.  I’m not necessarily blaming the film-makers for some of these issues.  They weren’t working with a whole lot, and I’m actually rather impressed with what they’ve managed to accomplish here.  It’s just that the competing tones and disjointed story-telling get in the way a little bit.  That being said, there are worse way to spend 90 minutes.

My Final Recommendation:  Whenever you exorcise demons, make sure you bring your Holy Chicken Bone. 6.5/10

You can check out the film at the following locations:

Amazon Prime USA

Tubi TV(USA,Canada,Australia; watch for free with advertising breaks)

Amazon Prime UK and Ireland

Vimeo USA, Canada, Australia, UK and Ireland(rent and buy)

Released: 2018

Director: Mathieu Weschler

Run Time: 85 Minutes

Rated R

Distributor: SP Releasing, LLC.

Genre: Action

Cast:
Steven Seagal: Axe
Louis Fan Siu Wong: Chen Man
Rudy Youngblood: Infidel
Kat Ingkarat: Yinying
Sergey Badyuk: Hollywood
Ting Sue: Tara
Kang Yu: Qmom
Cha-Lee Yoon: Black Claw Ma

You want to know what I hate about Netflix, Amazon Prime,  Hulu, and all those other digital platforms for movies?  Exclusives.  What I mean about exclusives is the fact that certain movies are only available on certain platforms.  Movies like Maria, Apostle, and The Night Comes For Us are only available digitally on Netflix.  Will they ever show up on DVD/Blu-Ray?  That’s entirely up to Netflix, but my guess is no.  Amazon has films like the Suspiria remake and You Were Never Really Here.  The difference between Amazon and Netflix, however, is that Amazon does allow their content to be released on physical media.  Hulu doesn’t have a lot to offer in terms of original movies, but they do have their original series.  But we have been seeing new digital platforms starting to show up like DC Universe with Disney+ on the way as well as CBS Access and other stuff like that.  There was another platform called 365 Flix which was going to be a springboard for new indie action flicks, but there’s nothing on the website right now.  The problem I have with all these platforms is that there are too many, which means certain films and shows are not going to get the attention that they deserve.  Recently, Attrition found its way on to Blu-Ray and DVD after being an exclusive to 365 Flix for over a year.  I think this film being an exclusive to a particular platform did more damage than it should have.  My review today is for Steven Seagal’s Attrition.

Attrition stars Steven Seagal as Axe, a former special forces operative who left behind his violent past to help people in the Far East.  While providing medical services to the local village, a man appears and asks Axe to help find his daughter, Tara, who was kidnapped by a local gangster, Qmom.  The word on the streets is that Tara has special mystical powers to heal and that may be why she was taken.  Convinced to return to a life of violence, Axe recruits his former team to track the young woman down and bring her home.  Mystical mumbo-jumbo aside, Attrition has a fairly simple story that is really to follow.  It’s nothing ground-breaking and it’s certainly nothing that we haven’t seen before, but I found myself enjoying it regardless.  The writing and dialogue are pretty strange, though, but considering it’s Steven Seagal, I shouldn’t be surprised.  Seagal has had a strange way of weaving in either environmental messages or message dealing with spirituality.  In the case of Attrition, the message is about the importance of Kung-Fu.  Truthfully, Steven Seagal is the last person on Earth to be preaching to us about Kung-Fu, considering that he’s a 7th dan black belt in Aikido….which is Japanese.  That being said, these musing aren’t terribly intrusive and the film goes with the flow.

I was bound to start talking about Steven Seagal at some point on this site, so why not start with Attrition?  Steven Seagal is a controversial public figure considering his political leanings and ideological inconsistencies over the years, none of which I will be going into here….ever.  I have my opinions on Seagal as a person, but that’s as far as I’ll go.  It’s no secret that most people don’t care for Steven Seagal as an actor, and to be honest with you, he really isn’t much of one.  He’s had some performances that were decent enough over the years, but mostly it’s just Steven Seagal playing Steven Seagal.  In that aspect, he’s pretty good.  He’s not the worst actor I’ve ever seen.  He gets the job done, and his performance as Axe really is no different than any of the other roles that he’s taken over the course of his career.  While Seagal is the lead character, the guy you should be paying attention to is Louis Fan Siu Wong, who plays Axe’s Kung-Fu brother, Chen.  I’ve been a fan of Louis Fan’s for quite some time now.  He’s an accomplished martial arts actor in his own right and has worked with some of the biggest names in the genre: Donnie Yen, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, and Jackie Chan.  Kang Yu plays the main villain, and he does a pretty good job.  The character of Qmom is definitely a scumbag, but he’s a scumbag that’s also a martial arts master.  Ting Sue plays Tara, the young woman that was kidnapped.  She’s not bad, even though, she’s only in the film for about a total of ten minutes, but I like the character as she is not impressed with Qmom or his men and she says as much.  The rest of the acting is pretty much by-the-book.  Not terrible, but nothing that really stands out, either.

Considering that Attrition is a Steven Seagal flick, I would’ve expected the action to be pretty incoherent as Seagal uses body doubles.  He’s used doubles in a lot of action sequences in many of his movies over the years and it is painfully obvious, considering the man is very out of shape.  That being said, the action in this film is surprisingly pretty decent.  Nothing mind-blowing, but there isn’t anything that strikes me as awful, either.  Steven Seagal does get to flex his martial arts abilities here a little bit, as he’s clearly studied some Kung-Fu for this film at least.  His action sequences tend to be pretty one-sided, but that doesn’t mean they’re awful.  You can actually see what’s going on, as the camera doesn’t shake nearly as much as it has in previous films.  Louis Fan steals the show as his fight sequences are really freaking good.  I didn’t realize that he was that fast.  Now, some of the action sequences were sped up a little bit to compensate for Seagal’s lack of speed, but that wasn’t necessary for Louis Fan.  He’s that damn good.  The final action sequence at the club is pretty good.  There’s some pretty good fight sequences and gun fights to satisfy fans for a little bit.  It only lasts about 10 minutes or so, but it’s still pretty impressive for a Steven Seagal flick.

There are a number of issues with the film that bring it down a bit, but it’s mostly due to the fact that the film is a low-budget flick, so some of it I can give a pass to, but some of it I can’t.  First of all, despite the film’s run-time of 85 minutes, it takes a while for it to get going.  The pacing isn’t as good as it needs to be.  The film’s violence is also kind of bizarre.  The fight choreography is pretty good, but when it comes to actual blood-shed, there’s a lot of CGI blood.  POOR CGI blood.  It’s painfully obvious at times, which is really strange, because there are other shots where they actually use squibs and actual corn syrup for blood.  So, the inconsistency can be very distracting at times.  Also, Axe is one of the most cliched characters in the book, but Steven Seagal is mostly played characters like this for decades.  He’s rarely changed things up, except when he played the villain in Machete.  However, some of the cinematography is really stunning to look at.  Some of the shots during the final club battle and slow motion shots are surprising beautiful.  There was a lot more effort put into this film than I was expecting from a new Steven Seagal movie.  Yeah, the movie’s not perfect and at times it feels like your typical Steven Seagal film, but the action, cinematography and relatively decent performances elevate what could’ve been another disaster for Seagal to something that’s actually worth taking a look at.  Steven Seagal and surprises……now there’s two words that you would never expect to hear me say in the same sentence.  Yeah, I liked Attrition.  I like it a lot and I wasn’t expecting to.  So kudos to Steven Seagal and company for making a film that I’m glad I bought blindly.

My Final Recommendation: 8/10.  What can I say?  This one surprised the hell out of me in a good way.  Check it out.

Released: June 2019

Director: Ernie Barbarash

Run Time: 98 Minutes

Not Rated

Distributor: Shout Studios

Genre: Action/Science Fiction

Cast:
Scott Adkins: Quinn
Andy On: Connor
Truong Ngoc Anh: Anna
Lily Ji: Maya
Aki Aleong: Dao
Daniel Whyte: The Visitor

If you’re a movie buff, what do think of when you hear the name Roger Corman?  You’re probably thinking of terrible films, right?  You know, movies so ridiculous, you’re amazed that they even got made.  That’s pretty much Roger Corman’s filmography in a nutshell.  Mr. Corman has been in the industry for 60+ years.  He’s “produced” over 400 movies and TV shows.  I have to wonder, though, how many of those movies just had his name plastered on them to sell and how many he actually worked on.  Some of his more infamous works include Death Race 2000, Piranha, Galaxy of Terror, Bloodfist as well as some more recent schlock flicks like Dinocroc and Sharktopus.  Most film-makers would probably be ashamed to have some of those titles in their repertoire and even more would probably cease to work in the industry altogether.  Not Roger Corman, though.  The man was a trailblazer in the indie film scene and despite the fact that very few of his films were any good(I can count on two hands how many), there was absolutely no question about his passion for film-making.  Like George Lucas and other directors, Corman has inspired generations of film-makers that have embraced the absurdity of his style of film-making.  The latest film that he’s produced is the sci-fi/actioner, Abduction(no relation to the shit movie starring Taylor Lautner)starring Scott Adkins and Andy On.

The film opens as Quinn(Scott Adkins)finds his abducted daughter in a trance and caged when he runs into the “people” that kidnapped her.  One of the abductors knocks Quinn through a wall and he wakes up in a fountain in Vietnam with no memory of who he is and how he got there.  Meanwhile, Connor(Andy On) is completing on final job as a hitman for a gang when his wife is abducted overnight.  Quinn is arrested and tended to by Anna, a psychologist who informs him that he’s living in 2018 and not 1985.  Soon, their paths cross with Connor and they discover that people are being abducted by inter-dimensional beings for their chi.  Not even 5 minutes into the film’s opening and hits you with the crazy.  Make no mistake about it, this is definitely the kind of film that Roger Corman would produce.  It’s about as silly as you would expect from Corman.  The story is for the most part, inconsequential and only serves to move the film from one action set-piece to another.  There is nothing in this film, story-wise, that we haven’t seen before and done better.  With that in mind, Abducted is very unapologetic about the kind of film it is and I have to respect that, even if it doesn’t always work.  There’s a lot of things going on that don’t make sense and the fact that the aliens need people’s chi/feng shui to get home is……WHAT?!  Feng shui does not work like that and neither does chi.  It’s definitely better if you don’t think about it.

Scott Adkins has been a roll over the past couple of years.  With films like The Debt Collector, Triple Threat, Avengement, and Accident Man, Adkins has been keeping busy.  Those movies that I just mentioned are some of the best films that he’s ever done as an actor.  He’s gotten a hell of a lot better as an actor over the years and it’s awesome to see him taking on some pretty risky roles.  I have to say that I was not expecting Scott Adkins to portray a character the way he does in Abduction.  It’s unlike anything that I’ve seen him do in a long time and it’s pretty decent.  When his character gets out of the fountain, he’s lost his memory and has a terrible stutter, so trying to communicate his situation to others is a challenge.  I’m wondering how much of that was Adkins just kind of making it up during the process and if he did improvise, it worked.  I’ve never seen Scott play a character with such vulnerability.  Andy On plays Connor, an assassin whose wife was also abducted.  Andy On is a name that I’ve been familiar with for over a decade now.  He’s been in fantastic movies like New Police Story, True Legend, The Lost Bladesman, and Fatal Contact.  He’s a phenomenal talent and a decent actor to boot.  His character, Connor, is an absolute bad-ass and even goes toe-to-toe with Scott Adkins towards the end of the film.  Truong Ngoc Anh plays Anna, the psychologist who inadvertently gets caught up in the alien conspiracy.  She does well enough for what she’s given as she’s pretty sympathetic.  Overall, the acting isn’t terrible for a movie of this sort.

If you’ve got names like Scott Adkins and Andy On attached to your film, your action sequence need to really deliver the goods.  Abduction mostly delivers.  I’ll address the “mostly” part in a bit, as it’s a significant issue.  The fights were choreographed by one Tim Man, who was responsible for doing the fights for Triple Threat, Accident Man, and Ninja: Shadow of a Tear.  This guy knows what he’s doing and he delivers some pretty solid fight sequences.  Some of the best ones feature Andy On taking an Brahim Achabbakhe as well as Scott Adkins, like I mentioned above.  Ernie Barbarash, who directed the film, frames the fights pretty well.  You can absolutely see what’s going on, and while the fights aren’t Avengement-level of brutal, they’re pretty decent in their own right.  Now, I come to the “mostly” part.  In most action and fight movies, there is a final duel which is supposed to raise the stakes for the film’s protagonists and cap off the previous two hours in a satisfying way.  We don’t get here.  There is no final battle.  I would have settled for a 1-2 minute scrapper, but we don’t even get that.  The film just….ends with a whimper.  As someone who loves action movies and films like this, that is unforgivable.  I understand that the budget was pretty small, but there really is no excuse for skipping out on a final fight which would given the audience a degree of catharsis.  I wasn’t happy about that at all.  It just gives the film a very unsatisfying and anti-climactic conclusion that sets up for a sequel that’s probably not going to happen.

Like I said above, Abduction is a pretty silly movie and when it works, it works.  This could’ve easily been an 8/10 movie for me, but the complete lack of a final battle almost ruins the whole thing.  That’s how important something like that is.  I wouldn’t consider this film to be Scott Adkins’ best film, but it’s definitely not his worst.  There is definitely some enjoyment to be had here, if you approach it with a certain mentality.  It’s a Roger Corman-produced flick, so if you go into the film with that in mind, you’ll probably have a decent time.

My Final Recommendation: 6/10.  A decent final duel would’ve at least brought the score up to a 7 at least.  “No final battle for you.”