Month: September 2018

There is something inherently hypnotic about a train that gets wrecked.  I’m talking literally, not just metaphorically.  We’ve all seen the YouTube videos about seeing a train take out a big rig or a smaller vehicle in spectacular fashion, preferably with nobody being hurt in the process.  But every once in a while, we get to witness something truly spectacular when a train really takes flight.  I’m not talking about the engine, but rather the entire train itself, caboose and all.  Sometimes, it’s horrific, and other times, it’s totally epic.  And horrible at the same time.  This is why we refer to movies of certain…..qualities as train-wrecks.  It’s because the film fails in nearly every single way.  While some of these films start out on the track well enough, it doesn’t take long for the whole thing to become completely derailed.  There are multiple reasons for why a film crashes and burns.  It could be because of studio interference, the film wasn’t fully conceptualized during the screen-writing process, or the cast and crew don’t know what the hell they’re doing.  Sometimes, a film can fail so badly, it can derail a particular franchise to the point it will never recover.  When I bring up these films, keep in mind, that I’m not necessarily going to hate them all.  Hell, some of them I absolutely love because of their faults.  With that in mind, let’s get into the films that I feel are total train-wrecks.

Suicide Squad

The trailers and marketing material lead everybody to believe that this was going to be a bad-ass anti-superhero film.  So what happened?  Batman V. Superman is what happened.  People’s overreaction to that particular film’s extremely dark and serious tone forced Warner Bros and the film-makers to try and lighten the mood with Suicide Squad.  To do that, they had to do some pretty extensive re-shoots that added more humor to the film.  The ugly truth of the matter is, is that the film was doomed from the beginning.  The concept of Suicide Squad is fantastic, but the execution was just awful.  You take a group of some of Batman’s notorious rogue gallery and you throw them together in a film with supernatural elements to try and save the world.  They took a fantastic concept and threw these characters into one of the most generic and cliche-ridden films in the DCEU.  Don’t believe me?  Watch the film, it includes every cliche up to and including the whole “portal in the sky” concept which has been done to death.  I enjoyed certain aspects of it, including Margot Robbie’s performance as Harley Quinn and Will Smith as Deadshot.  Everything else is a hot mess.

Jaws: The Revenge

The original Jaws is one of the greatest thrillers ever made.  It was the film that put Steven Spielberg on the map and became the world’s first summer blockbuster.  Despite the technical issues with the shark, the film actually benefited from those issues, and scared people out of the water.  It had interesting characters and a pace that was totally white-knuckle.  The quality of the sequels would get worse with each entry until we get to Jaws: The Revenge.  This was the film that killed the franchise completely.  Jaws 3 had some serious issues, but it was still a lot of fun for being a B-movie.  Jaws: The Revenge is a complete disaster in every single sense of the word.  First, we have a shark that somehow follows the Brody family to the Bahamas because of some kind of personal vendetta?  Oh, it gets worse:  Apparently, Ellen Brody has developed some kind of psychic connection to the shark.  A “shark-sense” if you will, that alerts her to whenever the shark is attacking something or someone.  Sounds ridiculous?  I’m not done yet.  During the final “confrontation” Mike Brody and his friend Jake use electronic devices to zap the shark, and when they do, it roars.  The shark…..roars.  The whole thing was riddled with continuity errors, logical fallacies, and glacial pacing.  This movie was boring.  Why the hell did I love it as a kid?  I don’t think I’ll ever know.

Moonraker

I’m a huge fan of the James Bond films.  I always have been.  The suave, smooth-talking British spy is one of the most memorable characters ever created.  I would say that I love all the James Bond movies, but that would be a lie.  There’s two or three that I’m really not a big fan of, but they’re still pretty decent.  The one film in the series that I can genuinely say that I hate was Moonraker.  Moonraker was released in 1979, two years after Star Wars and the same years as Star Trek: The Motion Picture.  The timing couldn’t have been worse, and putting James Bond in space with laser guns was one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen for a Bond picture.  To his credit, the late Roger Moore did the best he could with what he had, but the script was awful, the visual effects were laughable and the overall plot was completely derivative of better science fiction movies.  They even gave the character of Jaws a voice and a girlfriend which takes away any kind of menace that the character had.  The main villain is a complete joke and your typical businessman out to destroy the world for one reason or another.  I would say that “train-wreck” is the perfect adjective to describe this movie.

GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra

The Rise of Cobra.  There’s a dumpster fire if there ever was one.  Loosely based on the 80s cartoon and toys of the same name, GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra follows an elite squad of highly trained soldiers tasked with protecting the world from a mysterious organization that’s weaponized nano-technology.  Given how ridiculous the cartoon was, there really wasn’t much expectation that this movie was going to be any good.  Not only was the movie not very good, it completely misses the entire point of the cartoon.  It’s like Stephen Sommers didn’t even bother watching the cartoon or reading any of the comics.  Why was the team using these supersuits?  Not only that, you had this bizarre underwater base that really just looked like something out of the video game.  The characters were mostly done wrong.  We didn’t need an origin story for Cobra Commander.  He didn’t need one.  We also didn’t need to know how Duke and company got to be a part of GI Joe.  The only two characters that were compelling in any way were Snake-Eyes and Storm-Shadow.  Those two characters had more development than anybody else in the film.  Don’t even get me started on the horrendous CGI effects.  If you’re going to watch a GI JOE film, watch Retaliation instead.  It’s better.  Not by much, but at least it bears a resemblance to the cartoon…..somewhat.

Hellraiser: Revelations

If there was ever a way to be both a dumpster fire AND a train-wreck, Hellraiser: Revelations found it.  This movie, if you can even call it that, is basically nothing more than a cheap fan film.  It was clearly rushed and put out by Dimension Studios to retain the rights to the franchise.  The script was so awful that Doug Bradley, who played Pinhead in the first 8 movies, refused to sign on.  I’m a huge fan of the series, even some of the direct-to-video entries, but this was too lame, even for me.  It was horrendously produced with lame costumes, lousy visual effects, and a Pinhead that isn’t even remotely threatening.  This movie damn near killed the franchise.  Hellraiser: Judgment, the follow-up, while flawed, is a much better film.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Oh, dear.  This is one that I knew was coming the moment I saw the first trailer.  Luc Besson is a fantastic writer and director, but when his ego takes over, you get train-wrecks like Valerian.  Billed as one of the most expensive indie films ever made, the film barely made back its budget, but it failed to ignite with audiences that weren’t familiar with the graphic novel, which is to say…..everyone that isn’t French.  Visually, this is a stunning movie.  Unfortunately, the casting was awful, the story was lame, and it just seemed to feed Besson’s ego.  There was no chemistry between Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne and most of the other actors basically sleep-walked through the whole thing.  It was boring, and a lot of it didn’t make a whole lot of sense.  Stick with The Fifth Element, that’s a much better sci-fi film.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier could have been a phenomenal entry into the Star Trek series.  It has some really interesting ideas, and some scenes actually carry some serious emotional weight.  It’s just too bad that the film was bogged down by a film studio that wanted the film to be more comedic like Star Trek IV, while William Shatner wanted to do something more along the lines of the original film, something more philosophical.  While Shatner deserves some of the blame for how the film turned out, Paramount are the ones that neutered the whole thing.  The quality of the film also suffered because of a much lower budget than previous entries.  You can tell, because the visual effects are terrible.  Despite this film being a train-wreck, I actually like it a great deal, even if it’s only for the ideas that are presented.  Thankfully, it didn’t kill the franchise, as Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country put the franchise back on track with an incredible film.

I could go all day and night talking about movies that have ended up as train-wrecks.  I didn’t bring up The Predator because it was very recent, and I’m curious to see if a director’s cut will fix some issues with the film.  Alien 3 was not really that big of a train-wreck in my opinion.  The version you have to see is the Assembly Cut, which presents a more cohesive narrative.  There are other movies out there, but these are some of the ones that really stick out as train-wrecks and dumpster fires.

Released: September 2018

Director: Shane Black

Rated R

Run Time: 107 Minutes

Distributor: 21st Century Fox

Genre: Action/Science Fiction

Cast:
Boyd Holbrook: Quinn McKenna
Trevante Rhodes: Nebraska Williams
Jacob Tremblay: Rory McKenna
Keegan-Michael Key: Coyle
Olivia Munn: Casey Bracket
Sterling K. Brown: Traeger
Thomas Jane: Baxley
Alfie Allen: Lynch
Jake Busey: Keyes

While I’m sitting here typing this, I’ve also been reflecting on all the movies that I’ve seen and all the movie series that have been produced over the years.  Every movie trilogy or series that has ever been made has at one time or another, been derailed by an entry that most reviewers and critics would describe as a complete train-wreck.  Almost every movie series has at least one, while some have two or more.  Terminator has Terminator Genisys; Star Wars has Solo; Star Trek has Final Frontier and Generations, and so on and so forth.  So, why does it happen?  From my perspective, it happens because movie studios have a tendency to run completely out of ideas and they try to do something that doesn’t really fit with the source material.  The Alien films had Alien Resurrection as a particular train-wreck, because it really didn’t fit in logically or tone-wise with the other films.  Does that mean that the train-wrecks aren’t entertaining?  Not at all.  The aforementioned Alien Resurrection is entertaining as an action and science fiction film, but not so much as an Alien film.  When it comes to Predator, most people would point to either Predator 2 or Predators(the third film) as being train-wrecks.  I can tell you now: the fourth entry into the series, The Predator takes the cake when it comes to derailing the franchise.

A sequel to the first two films, but ignoring the third, The Predator sees Army Ranger Captain Quinn McKenna, an expert sniper, attempt to rescue hostages in Mexico when an alien ship crashes near his position.  Encountering the blood-thirsty Predator, McKenna takes some of the equipment from the crashed ship and escapes.  Mailing the equipment to his home in the United States, McKenna is apprehended by US forces and is questioned about what happened.  At the same time, government scientists recover the unconscious body of the creature and take him to a secret lab.  When the alien gear shows up at Quinn’s house, his autistic son investigates it and accidentally activates a homing beacon which brings another Predator to Earth.  I find it strange that Shane Black, who played Hawkins in the original Predator, would end up writing and directing the worst film in one of the most popular science fiction franchises in cinema.  The story in the film is actually not that bad, but the execution was unbelievable.  The original film was a straight-forward action flick with a science fiction/horror twist.  Here, it seems like film-makers tried to throw shit at a wall to see what sticks.  The wall must have been made of Teflon, because nothing stuck.  Nothing here really works.

Shane Black is a fantastic writer as evidenced by the Lethal Weapon film series, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Iron Man 3, The Monster Squad, and The Nice Guys.  As a director, he’s got three of those movies under his belt, so what the hell happened?  His experience on Predator should have made this entry a home-run, and it wasn’t.  I don’t know if it was Black’s idea to turn this film into an action/comedy, but whoever made the decision, the resulting film was a poor mish-mash of tones and genres.  Looking back at the first three movies, they weren’t comedies.  They had comedy in them, but they were mostly serious films, and it worked.  Yeah, they were corny at times, but that added to the experience.  Here, the humor is completely forced.  I didn’t laugh one time.  It also comes down to the fact that none of the characters are particularly likable.  Not one.  Throwing in an autistic kid to advance the plot was highly questionable.  There were some interesting ideas here.  The idea that Predators hunted people not just for trophies, but to use our DNA to upgrade themselves was fairly unique.  There was just no real payoff.  There were a lot of decisions made during the making of the film that really didn’t make any sense.  Honestly, I would have taken another Predator hunting a specific person instead of the Predators trying to conquer planets.  That was just….STUPID.  It flies in the face of everything that we’ve learned about the species in the past three movies.

Not only that, there were some painfully obvious references to the previous films.  One of the characters is named Shawn(Sean?)Keyes, the son of Peter Keyes from the second movie.  What’s actually cool about that is that Shawn is played by Jake Busey, the real-life son of Gary Busey, the guy who was in Predator 2.  That was awesome.  Only….Jake’s in the film for only five minutes.  What a waste.  The whole “government trying to capture an alien for study” has been done to death, and done better.  I’m absolutely flabbergasted at how unoriginal this film is.  I get that it is a sequel, but you need to try and bring something new and worthwhile to the table and the film-makers didn’t do that.  I knew there was going to be a problem when I heard about the re-shoots.  Re-shoots in a movie is nothing new.  It’s used to tighten up certain aspects like performances and pacing and story elements.  But you can tell that the re-shoots for this film didn’t fix anything and the editing makes it obvious.

Thankfully, the action is kind of where the film picks up a bit.  There’s a lot of it.  It’s gory, hard-hitting, and pretty much non-stop.  When the Predators are doing their thing, it’s really fun to watch.  However, even the action gets dealt a blow.  This movie is a huge CGI-fest.  The larger creature is pretty much CGI, while the smaller one is a guy in a suit, thankfully.  Even a lot of the blood and gore is CG, and nothing takes you out of a film like this more than some really bad CGI blood.  The musical score is also a major point of contention.  Don’t get me wrong:  I like Henry Jackman’s work.  He’s a fantastic composer with a lot of memorable titles under his belt.  But with The Predator, I’m not entirely sure what he was going for.  There are definitely elements of Alan Silvestri’s original music peppered throughout the film, but it’s been diluted to the point where it’s no longer memorable.  It would’ve been a lot better of Alan Silvestri took the job.  He did the score for the first two movies and they were fantastic scores.

So, who gets the blame for this mess?  Is it Shane Black for writing or directing?  Or is Fox Studios for possibly interfering with Black’s ability to make the film.  I would say it’s probably a combination of the two, but I would stake my life on Fox interfering.  It wouldn’t be the first time they interfered in a movie like this, and it won’t be the last.  I get the feeling that this isn’t really the film that Shane Black wanted us to see.  Will there be a director’s cut on Blu-Ray at some point in the future?  Who knows?  If there is, I would be very curious to see what was originally cut out of the film, because it’s apparent that stuff was left on the cutting room floor.  Do I actually hate the film?  No.  There is stuff to enjoy here, but you have to approach it as if it was a fan film.  The action is good, and you can see what’s going on.  It’s gruesome at times, and some of the actors do a decent enough job, but ultimately, The Predator is a very forgettable experience.  I can almost guarantee you that when the film hits home video, people are going to be like, “Oh, this was a thing?”  Long story short, Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem is a better movie.

My Final Recommendation: RUN! GO! GET TO DA CHOPPA….to get away from this movie.  4.5/10.

When people hear someone talk about “film festivals,” one would think about something like the Sundance or Cannes festivals.  Now, a film festival is place or event where film-makers, actors, and/or writers take their films to be showcased.  This is usually done to secure some kind of financing or publishing to get the film finished and out to the public.  The movies that end up at these film festivals are usually independent and short films that act as concepts to be adapted into something bigger.  What separates The Fighting Spirit Film Festival from all others is its focus on the use of martial arts in films.  It’s not just to showcase martial arts films, but it is also a celebration of the martial arts themselves.  While the FSFF is relatively new on the scene, only showing up in the past couple of years, it’s still managed to draw people from all corners of the globe.  I found out about this festival from Jino Kang, who wrote, directed and starred in Kid Fury as well as starring in films like Weapon of Choice and Fist 2 Fist.  When I found out about the festival, I decided that I would go, because not only was it about the martial arts in films, but the festival takes also place in England, so it was opportunity for me to travel to another country.  My experience in London was extraordinary.  It’s a wonderful country with wonderful people and a rich history.

I got to meet a lot of cool people.  This is a picture I took with Jino Kang, who I finally met in person at the festival.  He’s an absolutely wonderful person to hang around with.  I also got to hang out with Richard Hawes and Mike Parkin from The DTV Digest .  These guys are fantastic.  Their podcasts are about movies that end up going straight to video or VOD.  They’re definitely worth checking out.  It was very, very cool to be around so many amazing individuals that are either martial artists, film-makers or both.  There were a lot of folks that showed up for the event.  Actors Scott Adkins and Louis Mandylor were there for the UK premiere of The Debt Collector, directed by Jesse Johnson.  There were also some live martial arts demonstrations by wushu, Muay Thai and Capoeira experts.  It was absolutely fantastic.  Over the course of this post, I’m going to go over the various films and screenings that were showcased at this event.

The Debt Collector

I’m in the process of writing a review for this film, but long story short, The Debt Collector is an absolutely phenomenal indie film starring Scott Adkins and Louis Mandylor.  He plays a guy named French, who is in a bad spot financially, so he teams up with another collector to make some extra cash.  What follows is a hilarious and surprisingly powerful little film that is really worth watching.  The chemistry between Adkins and Mandylor is incredible, and Jesse Johnson actually allows Adkins to do a lot more than just punch, kick and somersault over people.  The story is tight and the characters are well-written.  If you live in the States, the film is already available on Blu-Ray/DVD and VOD.

Vengeance

It’s surprising to me the number of professional wrestlers who end up trying their hand at making movies.  Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, and John Cena are just a handful of folks that have tried to make the jump to the big screen.  The problem is, is that most of them really aren’t that good.  I can count on one hand how many wrestlers have made the transition successfully.  Dwayne Johnson is probably the best known, and he’s one of the highest paid actors today.  There’s a reason for that.  He’s fun to watch.  The latest is Stu Bennett, who went by the name Wade Barrett during his tenure in the WWE.  Towering at 6’6, Stu Bennett is an imposing figure, perfect for Commando-style films like Vengeance.  It’s a pretty solid film, and it’s clear that the director is a huge fan of Commando.  It’s a pretty violent movie, and it makes you feel the hits.  The film also stars Gary Daniels as the villain.  This is Bennett’s show, though, and he’s pretty damned cool.

Earlier in the day, there was a charity screening of The Karate Kid Part II.  This was a movie that I hadn’t seen in 20 years, so I was curious to see how it held up after so long.  It holds up surprisingly well.  I do remember liking the second film more than the original.  The real star of the show was Noriyuki “Pat” Morita, who gives the best performance in the film.  Honestly, I really liked the film a great deal, and seeing it on the big screen for the first time in 20 years was a real treat.  Now, I’m going to go over some of the short films that were displayed at this event.  There were 21 short films in total.  The length of these films range from 4 minutes to 22 minutes in length, although, length is not a good indicator of quality.  I will fully admit that I was less than impressed with some of these short films.

Steam:  This one was pretty interesting because as you can tell from the title, there is a huge steam-punk vibe throughout the short and it kind of added to the mood.  The fight choreography was pretty solid and the use of steam-powered armor and weaponry was pretty unique.  Overall, I thought it was pretty good.
Punch Me: This one was absolutely hilarious and it worked for a 4-minute short.  It’s about a husband and wife where the wife wants to get punched in the face and is willing to do anything to get punched.  In most cases, a man punching a woman is no laughing matter.  Here, though, it’s just bonkers.  The husband refuses to punch her, so she tries to get other people to punch her in the face.  It really shouldn’t be so funny, but it is.
Kid Fury: The Phantom Witch:  This is one that I had seen and reviewed before, so if you’re wondering what I thought of the film, you can check out my review of the picture by clicking the Reviews tab at the top of the page.
Dead End:  Now this one was a huge surprise.  For a short film that runs 19 minutes, it’s a surprisingly powerful short film about an assassin trying to redeem himself after a tragic event in his past.  There’s a real emotional weight that’s on display here, and actor Bryan Larkin really knocks it out of the park.
Breath: This one is a documentary about 90-year old Richard Watson, who studied karate, judo and later Taiji Quan.  I really like this one because it shows that regardless of age, anybody can get into the martial arts and it shows how beneficial being a martial artist can be in terms of physical and mental health.  This one I absolutely recommend you check out.
Chopsticks:  The last one on this list that I felt worth mentioning is about a woman who is drunk but uses chopsticks as weapons and goes after her brother after he sends incompetent goons to try and kill her.  What ensues is one of the funniest short films that I’ve seen all year.  It has top-notch fight choreography, solid writing and it looks like it could be the beginning of a TV series.  It’s surprisingly high quality.

There was also a free seminar on how to make an action film.  I was honestly interested in this one, until I actually saw it.  There’s a lot of interesting information here about funding, finding the right crew and writing, but ultimately, I found it boring.  It’s not their fault, it was aimed more at people who are wanting to break into the business of film-making, and in that regard, it was pretty solid.  However, unless you are wanting to make films, there’s really nothing here that’s going to interest you or blow you away.  It was a nice addition to the event, though.  Now, before I close out this post, there is one final detail about the event that I want to mention:

That’s right: Bruce Lee’s final completed film Enter The Dragon.  This was the final film to be shown at the event.  I’m glad they showed it, as it was the first time in my life that I saw Enter The Dragon on the big screen.  I grew up watching this film time and time again.  It never got old and it still doesn’t get old.  It holds up very well 45 years later.  The fight choreography by Bruce Lee was beyond anything that was seen at that time and the action was phenomenal.  Enter The Dragon is one of the most influential films ever made and one of the best martial arts films of all time.  Enter The Dragon and more importantly, Bruce Lee, influenced generations of martial artists and film-makers around the world.  It was Bruce Lee that made martial arts cool.  While I can’t say that I agree with everything that he said or did, I feel that the good things that he brought to the film industry and the West outweighed some of the more questionable decisions that he made.  Ultimately, Bruce Lee had an enormous impact on my life as he did many others.  He inspired me to get into the martial arts myself, despite his death in 1973.  That’s the thing, too:  Even 45 years after his untimely passing, Bruce Lee still has a huge influence on people today.  Every modern martial arts movie that you see today has an element of Bruce Lee’s philosophy and film-making style.  That’s how influential he was.  His performance in Enter The Dragon is one for the record books.  Yeah, the film’s story is simple, but the characters, action, and Bruce Lee’s approach to the martial arts helped drive the film.  It is not an exaggeration to say that the film would have been completely different if Bruce wasn’t involved.  Bruce Lee accomplished more in his 32 years on Earth than most people will ever achieve in their 60+ year life-span.  Again, that’s not an exaggeration.  If it wasn’t for Bruce Lee, events like The Fighting Spirit Film Festival most likely wouldn’t exist.  Overall, my experience at the Fighting Spirit Film Festival in London was incredible, and I also have to thank the people and city of London for allowing it to be held there.  A special shout-out goes to Soo Cole and Weng Yu, the folks in charge of the event for making it all possible.  I’m also dedicating this post to Bruce Lee and his family for trying to keep his spirit and legacy alive.

BRUCE LEE “THE DRAGON”

NOVEMBER 27, 1940-JULY 20, 1973

UPDATE:  If anybody clicked on a link to this review only to find a blank page, let me fill you in on what happened.  When I initially posted the review, I was unaware that there was an embargo in place.  As a result, I was asked to temporarily remove the review until the embargo was lifted.  Because I value the trust that people have placed in me to review these films properly, I went ahead and removed the review.  I was recently informed that the embargo was lifted, so please enjoy the review!  It has not been altered in any way.

Released: September 2018

Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Not Rated

Run Time: 109 Minutes

Genre: Action/Comedy

Cast:
Alexander Nevsky: Maxim Kadurin
Danny Trejo: Sanchez
Tom Arnold: Barnes
Kelly Hu: Kate
Mark Dacasco: Tony Lin
William Baldwin: Man in Shadows
Matthias Hues: Ian
Eric Roberts: Secretary of State Robert Jacobs

Comedy is a very hard thing to review.  One person’s sense of humor is not going to be the same as someone else’s.  Sometimes, the humor lands and sometimes it falls flat.  In my opinion, comedy in movies only works if the chemistry between actors feels natural.  Timing is also crucial.  Trying to land a joke in a situation that wasn’t meant to be funny can be very awkward.  Same thing if a scene is supposed to be funny but fails.  There’s a balance that has to be observed.  It’s even more so when you combine genres like action comedies or horror comedies.  If you don’t get it just right, the whole experience can crumble.  I’ve seen a lot of great action comedies, but I’ve also seen my fair share of really bad ones too.  So, where does Maximum Impact land?  Let’s find out.

After a failed attempt at taking down criminal kingpin Sanchez, Russian agents Maxim and Andrei are assigned by their superiors to work with the American Secret Service to protect a meeting between Secretary Robert Jacobs and a Russian politician.  Meanwhile, failed actor-turned-criminal Tony Lin is in town to try and find a way to sabotage the relationship between Russia and the United States.  After finding out that Jacobs’ granddaughter stowed away on his flight, Lin and his crew plan to kidnap her to blackmail Jacobs.  For movies like Maximum Impact, the story doesn’t necessarily have to be all that original, but it has to be easy to follow, and for this film, it is.  There really isn’t a moment where the film slows down too much.  What really makes this story and film work are the people involved.

I don’t know how they managed to get a cast of this caliber, because you’ve got some really big names attached to this project.  For old-school action fans, we’ve got Matthias Hues who plays Ian, Lin’s second-in-command.  Tom Arnold is here(yes, THAT one)and he’s actually playing it fairly straight.  Alexander Nevsky, from Showdown In Manila takes the lead as Maxim.  I’ve gotta say, the more I watch this guy, the more of a fan I become.  He’s a big guy, but he’s definitely got a sense of humor and he also really good chemistry with his fellow actors.  Danny Trejo, man.  What can I say about Danny Trejo that hasn’t been said before?  This guy’s been all over the place, and he’s loving every minute of it.  Kelly Hu from X2: X-Men United and The Scorpion King is so much fun to watch.  It’s not necessarily because she’s gorgeous, she is, but she’s also a legitimate bad-ass as the Secret Service agent Kate.  William Baldwin makes an appearance as Lin’s mysterious “ally.”  I will fully admit that I’m not the biggest fan of the Baldwin brothers, except for Alec.  Unfortunately, William, despite his efforts, doesn’t really have a whole lot to offer here.  The one actor that I never really expected to find here was Eric Roberts.  When given the right material, Mr. Roberts can hang with the best of them, but even if he’s not given the best material, he does the best he can, and that’s not a bad thing.  Mark Dacascos is one of my favorite actors for a number of reasons.  One: He’s an excellent martial artist and does most of his own stunts.  Two: He’s actually a really good actor.  While he’s known for playing mostly good guys, he’s definitely played the rotten apple on more than one occasion and he’s really good at it.  In Maximum Impact, he’s clearly making fun of himself at times, because he plays a former actor.  You can tell that the character is definitely vain, because he has that make-up and mirror that you see behind the scenes in movies.  Overall, it’s a really strong cast and they work very well together.

The comedy aspect of the film is tightly woven into everything that you see happening on the screen, including the action.  If it wasn’t for the humor, the action would have felt a bit stale.  We do get a couple of decent fight scenes, though.  Alexander Nevsky has really improved when it comes to on-screen fighting.  He’s intimidating and he can be big bruiser when he needs to be.  He takes on Matthias Hues at one point and while it is quick, it’s still pretty decent.  I do wish the camera was pulled back a bit so we could see more of the action, but it’s still better than that shaky-cam bullshit that some modern action film-makers just can’t seem to abandon.  Kelly Hu gets to kick some ass periodically, which is awesome considering that the actress holds a black belt in Karate.  While Mark doesn’t have a lot of action scenes, the ones he’s in are pretty solid.  He’s fight with Alexander Nevsky’s character is one of the highlights of the film.  Some of the effects aren’t the greatest, but considering the film’s very low-budget nature, they’re forgivable.

While I think the film is really fun, it definitely has its issues.  One of the gripes I have with the film is a pretty significant one.  It’s the whole subplot involving the secretary’s granddaughter.  While the subplot itself isn’t the issue, the character is.  She’s extremely irritating, coming off as a spoiled valley-girl cliche.  Add on top of that, the horrendous ADR voice-over for the character.  Good God, the character’s voice over is terrible.  You can tell that it isn’t her voice.  Now, I’m not opposed to some ADR(automatic dialogue replacement), but the voice they chose clearly doesn’t match the character.  Whenever the film changes its focus to her, the film grinds to a halt.  Thankfully, everything else seems to work pretty well.  Some of the car chases are pretty good and most of the humor is pretty spot-on.  Overall, I would say that Maximum Impact is a lot of fun and it is pretty funny, but there are some issues that kind of bring it down a bit.  Is it still worth watching?  Hell, yes, it is!  Especially if you’re a fan of the cast members that I mentioned.

My Final Recommendation:  Shaolin Cop! 8/10