Month: June 2018

Released: September 1984

Director: Sam Firstenberg

Rated R

Run Time: 92 Minutes

Distributor: Canon Films/MGM Studios

Genre: Action/Fantasy

Cast:
Sho Kosugi: Yamada
Lucinda Dickey: Christie
Jordan Bennett: Billy Secord
David Chung: Black Ninja
James Hong: Miyashima

I was born into a very unusual decade: The 1980’s.  Between the drugs and music and all the bizarre shit that was happening during that time, looking back, it was also one of the best decades for entertainment.  Movies, to be precise.  The 80’s saw an extraordinary amount of movies that were insanely different.  Yeah, there were successful films like Star Wars, Indiana Jones and The Terminator, but there were a lot of films that were forgotten or were deliberately ignored.  The horror genre saw it’s best decade in the 80’s as well as the science fiction and action genres.  As a kid who grew up in the 80’s/90’s, one of the things that I gravitated towards were ninjas.  There was something alluring about these Japanese assassins clad in black with swords and throwing stars.  Yeah, I grew up watching stuff like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and 3 Ninjas, but I was honestly more interested in the far more violent films like American Ninja.  During the early years of the 1980’s, there was a trilogy of films that starred Japanese actor Sho Kosugi,  a man who would popularize ninja films during that decade.  The first film in that “trilogy” was Enter the Ninja, which wasn’t very good.  The second was Revenge of the Ninja, where Kosugi played a good guy.  The third film is where things totally went bonkers, and that’s the film I’m reviewing for you today:  Ninja III: The Domination.

Ninja III: The Domination begins as a lone figure heads off into the hills in search of a hidden chest containing the weapons and outfits of a ninja warrior.  Taking these objects, this lone figure heads off in search of a target at a nearby golf course where he kills his target and a bunch of cops.  After taking an absurd amount of bullets, the ninja still manages to get away.  A power line worker, Christie, stumbles on this ninja and is hypnotized as the ninja transfers his soul and memories into her as he dies.  He uses her as his weapon from beyond the grave.  The only way to stop her takes the form of another ninja who arrives from Japan to investigate these strange murders.  If that synopsis sounds ridiculous, you wouldn’t be wrong.  It’s absolutely nuts.  Revenge of the Ninja was pretty straight-forward as far as action films go, but The Domination jettisons all that for some really bizarre mysticism and Poltergeist-esque shenanigans.  Does it actually work, though?  You know what?  It’s just too damn strange not to.  Be aware, this film was released in 1984, so strange films were par for the course in the early  part of the decade, but Ninja III was incredibly absurd.  The story makes no sense and the whole thing is a giant mish-mash of various genres, including dance and horror.  Of course, this being a Canon Films production, less time was spent making the story plausible and more on making it an action/horror hybrid of sorts.  It’s just flat-out wacky.  I love it.

This being an early 80’s low-budget action film, the acting is pretty terrible.  This was an early role for Lucinda Dickey, who was stunning at the time and did the best she could with what she was given, but she was obviously inexperienced at the time.  Like-wise, Jordan Bennett was pretty irritating as the cop Billy Secord, who was constantly lusting after Lucinda’s character throughout the entire, but more on that later.  The real man of the hour in the film, like the previous films was Sho Kosugi.  He was not necessarily the greatest actor, but his martial arts talent and screen presence couldn’t be denied.  He stole the show every time he was on screen with his incredible martial arts skills.  Not only was he the real hero of the film, but he also served as the film’s fight choreographer, which is why some of the fight sequences are pretty decent.  I have been and always will be a fan of Sho Kosugi until that I die.  He popularized a rather unknown sub-genre within the action film scene and that’s why he’s one of the most recognized stars among hardcore action film fans like myself.  While the films that he stars in aren’t always great, but he makes them worth watching.

The action sequences were put together by stunt coordinators Steve Lambert and Alan Amiel, and I can tell you, the action is pretty awesome.  While some of the editing is suspect, a lot of the stunt sequences are absolutely mind-blowing with how they pulled them off.  Again, this is 1984, so CGI was far too expensive and wires were really not used in the United States for stunts.  Every stunt and fight sequence that you see in the film was done for real, because it couldn’t be done any other way.  It was incredible to see some of the stuff that they did.  They don’t make movies like this anymore and it’s a damn shame.  The special effects on the other hand, were a very mixed bag.  The floating sword was obviously used by strings and was totally hokey.  Other visual effects were actually not half-bad, such as the shaking of Christie’s apartment.  That set was put on a large hydrolic gimbal that shook the entire room.  It was actually pretty clever.  The laser sequences and the arcade cabinet effects were rather silly, but it was done practically at least.  The final battle between Sho Kosugi’s character and the Black Ninja was something else.  There was some really good choreography going on there, but it was just absolutely bonkers.

I hadn’t seen Ninja III: The Domination in nearly 30 years, so going back to this film was a blast from the past.  Is it a good movie?  No.  Not even close.  Honestly, Revenge of the Ninja was the best of the trilogy.  You kind of have to go into a movie like this with a certain frame of mind to really enjoy it.  It is a Canon Film after all, so it has obtained a certain cult status.  So much so that a collector’s edition of the film was released on Blu-Ray earlier this year.  Does a movie like Ninja III deserve such a treatment?  From one perspective, not really, but honestly, I absolutely love the film for it’s unpretentious ridiculousness.  It’s a film that knows that it’s bonkers and it runs with it gloriously into the sunset.  How many modern action movies have you seen that are as willing to be this crazy?  In my honest opinion, this film is not guilty by reason of insanity.

My Final Recommendation:  Ninjas are bad-ass.  Your argument is invalid. 9/10.

For this post, I would like to go over the various films over the past several decades and take a look at ones that are what I call “Rip-off” films.  Now, I’m not going to include films from The Asylum production company since that’s all that they are known for and it’s too easy of a target, in my opinion.  So….what do I mean by “rip-off” or “knock-off?”  Basically, I’m referring to films that take their inspiration from far better films, but are either unable or unwilling to disguise the fact that they are influenced by better films.  They could have very similar themes and ideas, and the execution of some of those things could very well warrant being called a rip-off.  Does that mean they are awful?  Not necessarily, but it does highlight the fact that these rip-offs are of a much lower budget and quality.  I’m not going to include sequels, even though some of them do feel like rip-offs, so the Jaws sequels are off the list.  Re-makes on the other hand, are absolutely fair game.  These films won’t be in any specific order, but I will be grading them on entertainment value as some of them are legitimately fun to watch.  What say we get this train-wreck going, shall we?

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

When Star Wars was released back in 1977, it shifted the course of film-making forever.  It was one of the biggest hits of all time and got multiple re-releases and eventually sequels.  But, it did end up getting its own fair share of knock-offs.  Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone is one such film.  Released in 1983, the film got clobbered by Return of the Jedi and was quickly forgotten.  So, why is this a rip-off?  Peter Strauss plays Wolff, an intergalactic mercenary that comes across a potential payday when three women are marooned on a barren planet.  Wolff is clearly a Han Solo-wannabe that just wasn’t cool enough.  Michael Ironside plays Overdog, a half-man, half-machine being that rules with an iron fist.  Does that sound familiar.  If you put Darth in front of that name, I’m sure you could figure it out.  It’s a pretty blatant rip-off if you ask me.  That being said, it’s a very entertaining ride.  Peter Strauss is actually pretty good here along with Ernie Hudson.  It’s not a good movie, by any stretch, but damn if it ain’t fun.  I actually grew up with this one, so I have a particular fondness for it.  Entertainment Value: 8/10.

Piranha(1978)

Jaws was a huge hit in 1975, even though it was kind of meant to be a bit of a b-movie.  It ended up being one of the most successful thrillers of the decade and put Steven Spielberg’s name on the map as a director.  Any successful film is going to be hounded by people who think they can come up with something just as successful or unique and most of the time it doesn’t work.  Piranha is one of those movies.  Honestly, it should have been called Jaws: The Ripoff.  Instead of a man-eating shark, you have a bunch of tiny flesh-eating piranhas causing all sorts of havoc at a local lake when they are accidentally released from a pond.  I will give the film credit, however:  It doesn’t take itself seriously.  Don’t believe me, check out the trailer.  It’s just all sorts of bonkers, and it plays out almost exactly the way you would expect it to.  You know what’s really funny?  Piranha got a re-make back in 2010 which ended up being better than the original film.  It’s a crazy world we live in!  Entertainment Value: 7/10

Blue Monkey

Ridley Scott’s Alien got a fair number of rip-offs, some of which I may include on this list, but the one film that got a pretty blatant rip-off was James Cameron’s sequel, Aliens.  Honestly, I can’t say that I’ve seen a more blatant rip-off than Blue Monkey.  Aside from the fact that the film-makers had no idea what to call the movie, the movie’s callbacks to Cameron’s film are unmistakable.  A character named Bishop?  I’m pretty sure that’s just a complete coincidence.  A creature that’s born from a human host and causes the person’s chest to explode?  That’s a little more suspicious, but not necessarily conclusive.  A giant bug that wraps people up in cocoons to be used as food?  And it all takes place in a dark and claustrophobic environment?  Okay, that’s it:  I’m calling shenanigans!  To be fair, when it comes to rip-offs, Blue Monkey is one of my favorites.  There is actual effort put into this film and it does have a very atmospheric and creepy vibe to the whole thing.  It’s one of the better rip-offs that I’ve seen in my life.  Steve Railsback actually plays a good guy in this one and he’s pretty damn good.  All the effects are practical, even if they aren’t always that good, but you can tell that the people involved here wanted to make the best monster movie they could make and I think they succeeded in a way.  It’s just too bad that nobody saw the film as it’s out-of-print and mostly unavailable unless you know where to look.  Entertainment Value: 9/10.

Psycho(1998)

Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho remains one of the finest examples of American film-making and one of the greatest thrillers of all time.  Why?  Because it’s sharply written, well-acted and deliberately paced.  It was also very shocking by featuring a fairly gruesome on-screen murder, which ended up as one of the most iconic scenes in all of cinema.  While the sequels were not awful, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that Anthony Perkins’ performance as Norman Bates was electrifying.  Gus Van Sant’s re-make has absolutely no reason or right to exist.  It is literally a shot-for-shot re-make that doesn’t even come close to the atmosphere or intensity of the original film.  The casting is all wrong, especially Vince Vaughan as Norman Bates.  I like Vince Vaughan as an actor, but he was the wrong person for the role, and that could be said for anyone that was cast in the film.  When it comes to re-makes, 1998’s Psycho is one of the worst and a complete rip-off of the 1960 classic.  Avoid this one like the Bates Motel.  Entertainment Value: 1/10.

Godzilla(1998)

I’m not going to lie: I enjoyed the 1998 version of Godzilla.  It had massive amounts of destruction and impressive visual effects courtesy of Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin.  It also featured a solid performance from Jean Reno and Hank Azaria.  So, what went wrong?  Everything else.  The design of the creature, while impressive in size, bore no resemblance to the Toho creature of the same name.  It was an overgrown iguana.  Aside from miscasting Matthew Broderick as a geeky scientist(any other kind?), it also featured a mayor and assistant that were clearly riffs on the late film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.  I felt that was pretty tasteless, actually.  Again, the film is a fun disaster film ride, but it is NOT a Godzilla film.  Toho was so offended by this film that in their 2004 film Godzilla: Final Wars, they included the 1998 version of the monster only for it to be pulverized by the true Godzilla.  Pretty poetic, I thought.  You don’t mess with the big G, ya dig?  Entertainment Value: 6.5/10

DeepStar Six

In the late 1980s, there were a number of films that were set underwater:  Leviathan, The Abyss, and DeepStar Six.  The Abyss was more about coming into contact with potentially friendly aliens, while Leviathan was a serious monster movie in the vein of Alien.  It was a pretty solid thriller with amazing creature effects and solid performances across the board.  It stood pretty well on its own.  DeepStar Six on the other hand, wasn’t as good.  It had solid performances, but the visual effects were pretty rudimentary and the creature looked like an over-sized crab.  The worst part is, is that the creature doesn’t show itself until at least 50 minutes into the movie, and that’s only because the characters make some pretty stupid decisions.  Of the three films, this one felt most like a rip-off, because it was way too similar to the other ones.  The Abyss and Leviathan differentiated themselves for the reasons that I mentioned, but DeepStar Six didn’t really try that hard.  Oddly enough, I actually love this movie, in spite of all its faults and imperfections.  It’s still a fun movie.  Entertainment Value: 7/10.

There are definitely more rip-offs out there that I haven’t mentioned.  Some I’ve seen, others I haven’t.  If there any films that you feel are complete rip-offs of better films, comment below and I will catch you later!

Before I begin, I want to apologize for not being as active I probably should have been.  I’ve been dealing with my father’s passing last month and it’s been really tough just to get motivated to do anything.  That being said, I appreciate the people who been patient with me over the course of the month, so thank you.  For this post, I’m bringing you a couple of interesting pieces of news from a Galaxy Far, Far Away.  The first of which is apparently any upcoming Star Wars spin-off films are being put on hold.  Why?  Well, I’m guessing, but the performance of the Han Solo film may have had something to do with it.  The film only garnered a little over 100 million dollars on it’s opening weekend against an apparent 300 million dollar budget.  This would make Solo the worst-performing Star Wars film.  I’m not entirely surprised.  The production of the Han Solo was fraught with problems including the firing of directors Lord and Miller with most of the film completed.  They brought in Ron Howard to do extensive re-shoots to “fix” the issues made by Lord and Miller, but in doing so, nearly doubled the film’s budget.  As we’ve seen with movies like John Carter, when you have to do extensive re-shoots that balloon the budget by at least double if not more, the film is going to suffer in many ways and almost always bombs at the box office.  The truth of the matter is, is that I was not actually expecting Disney to step in unless Episode IX failed at the box office, but it seems like Disney is going to take any chances with the final episode in this new trilogy.  So, for anybody expecting a Boba Fett or Obi-wan Kenobi film:  You’re probably not going to get them any time soon, at least if my sources and various news sources are to be believed.  My opinion on this, is that again, I’m not surprised.  When Disney announced the spin-off films that were going to be released between the episodic films, I was very doubtful that it was going to last very long.  Rogue One was fantastic in my opinion, despite its apparent issues behind-the-scenes.  I didn’t even hate the Han Solo film, I just wasn’t impressed with it and felt that it was not a film that needed to happen.  There were other stories out there that they could have focused on instead of worrying about origin stories for classic characters and events.  The audience doesn’t really want that, and Solo’s performance is evidence of that.  I honestly want original stories in the Star Wars universe.  It can be done, if Disney and Lucasfilm are willing to take certain risks.

Speaking of risks, according to sites such as Star Wars News Net, Disney and Lucasfilm are no longer going to be taking risks on unproven directors.  The interpretation of this bit is that Disney and Lucasfilm only want to deal with directors who know how to handle a large budget, like J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson and Ron Howard.  One one hand, this makes good business sense, as unproven directors are not predictable and don’t necessarily have experience in dealing with massive amounts of money involved in making films like these.  On the other hand, you need to look at where Star Wars came from.  When George Lucas finally completed and released the original film in 1977, most film companies were not willing to take chances with him and his film.  20th Century Fox decided to step up and take chance with Mr. Lucas and Star Wars.  The rest is film-making history.  So, I understand Disney’s trepidation when it comes to unknown directors.  I get it, but if you’re not willing to take a chance and let somebody do something with it, you will end up with a disaster like Solo.  You need to have a little bit of faith that a new director could bring something new to the table.  I’ll be honest, I would have really liked to see what Lord and Miller could’ve done with Solo if they had been allowed to finish it on their terms.  Would it still have ended up flopping at the box office?  We’ll never know.

In conclusion, I don’t think that Disney’s going to wait around and see if Episode IX fails at the box office or not.  They’re doing everything right now to make sure that doesn’t happen.  They also want to make sure that Rian Johnson’s new trilogy has a shot at being made.  Again, the fate of Johnson’s movies will depend on Episode IX’s performance.  I could be wrong, but it seems like Solo basically slapped Lucasfilm in the face with a force-sensitive fish and made them step back and realize that maybe releasing a Star Wars film every year wasn’t the best of ideas.  I’m a huge fan of Star Wars, as I’ve said so many times before, and I really want each and every film in the franchise to succeed, but periodically one needs to fail so that Lucasfilm and Disney can do better.  Solo was a mistake.  It never should have been made in the first place, but I hope that it is a learning experience for Disney and that their focus on Episode IX will lead to a movie that people will remember in a positive light for years to come.  That’s my hope.  As Yoda once put it, “It’s difficult to see; always in motion is the future.”

As a movie buff and collector, I’ve come across some really strange and bizarre films that your average film-goer has probably never even heard of.  Some of my favorite movies are pretty obscure and generally not well-known.  What constitutes an obscure movie?  Well, one definition of the obscure is something that is not discovered or known about.  While the term is used for many things, it often refers to films that people don’t even know were made.  These films are generally pretty hard to find these days, especially if you’re looking for a DVD or some kind of hard copy of the film.  The films that I’m going to discuss in this article are ones that have been either out-of-print for decades, or have been recently re-discovered after being out-of-print for so long.  So…as you can imagine, a lot of the films I’m going to cover here are going to be older ones.  These ones are going to go back decades.  There are a lot of them out there waiting for a collector or fan to stumble upon them.  Now, before I begin, I want to talk about why a film would go out-of-print in the first place.  There are a number of reasons, but primarily it’s about demand and whether or not the film continues to sell.  A film goes out of print when it no longer becomes profitable or there’s no demand for it, whatsoever.  It happens more often than you would think.  Thankfully, some modern technology like the Internet and YouTube have helped preserve these films, so chances are you can find them on YouTube.  But, there have been occasions when a film has been re-discovered and put on DVD and Blu-Ray for new audiences to see.  This usually happens with cult movies that only appeal to certain audiences.  So…with that in mind, let’s dig up a time capsule and see what’s been hidden from us for so long.

Dinosaurus!

Boy, here’s one my brother and I grew up with.  Dinosaurus! was a monster movie that was released back in 1960 featuring a T-Rex and an Apatosaurus.  After being discovered frozen at the bottom of the ocean, the dinosaurs are brought up to the beach where they are awakened by a bolt of lightening.  They begin to rampage around a tropical island sending the inhabitants screaming in fear.  I absolutely loved this film as a kid.  This was during my “dinosaur phase” that many kids went through.  It was just one of those really fun and amazing films that I loved as a kid.  Obviously, this was WAY before Jurassic Park became a thing.  Looking back it now, the effects are pretty silly, but it was just awesome to see that kind stop-motion animation.   They got the dinosaurs all wrong in terms of design, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the film.  Yeah, most of the main characters are irritating and some of the comedy pretty forced, but it really stirred up my imagination when I was younger.  The film has gone out of print, so your best bet to find a hard-copy of the film is basically eBay or some specialty websites that deal in rare and elusive films such as this.

Blue Monkey

I just reviewed this one a couple of days ago, and I still maintain that it’s a monster movie it is worth watching if you can find it.  It has a bunch of different names like The Invasion of the Bodysuckers or Insect.  The name that it was released in the US as was Blue Monkey, which is really bizarre since there are no monkeys involved here, just giant mutated bugs.  While the film was pretty much a rip-off of Aliens/Cocoon, it was still a blast to watch.  Steve Railsback, Don Lake, and Gwynyth Walsh all do a fantastic job in the film.  While some of the visual effects haven’t aged very well, the creature designs are still pretty creepy.  The film moves at a pretty decent pace and there’s rarely a dull moment.  It’s not the greatest film in the world and it’s not particularly original, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t have fun with it.  Plus, this was the film that scared me out of going into any underground insane asylums.  I mean, those are creepy enough, but when you have a 12-foot tall insect roaming the halls, that’s a real deal-breaker.  While the film is known to be available only on VHS officially, I’ve seen websites sell the film on DVD between 10-30 bucks.  I don’t know what the image quality is on those, but if you can find the film, it’s worth checking out if you like monster movies.

The Villain(a.k.a Cactus Jack)

I love Westerns as much as the next guy, but sometimes you come across something that’s just so damned goofy, you have no idea what to make of it.  Enter 1979’s The Villain starring Kirk Douglas, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ann Margaret.  If there was a movie that is essentially a live-action version of Looney Tunes, this would be it.  It’s absolutely bonkers from beginning to end, with Kirk Douglas’s character just making a fool of himself time and time again.  I have to say that Kirk Douglas stole the show.  Yeah, Arnold was in it, but this is Kirk’s show through and through.  While I wouldn’t put it on the same level as Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles, it’s well-written enough to keep you laughing until the end, which is one of the silliest endings I’ve ever seen.  This one is actually available on DVD right now, so it’s not out-of-print.  It is hard to find if you’re not online.  So…it’s not totally obscure, but it’s rare enough that it slips under most people’s radar.  It’s currently available on Amazon for about 5 bucks, give or take.  Check it out.

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

You know, the 80s was particularly great decade for big movies, but there were also a lot of blatant rip-offs of better films.  Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone is one such film.  Starring Peter Strauss as Wolff, he takes on a job that has him traveling to a nearby planet to rescue three women who have been captured by an evil overlord.  If this doesn’t scream Star Wars rip-off, I don’t know what does.  Wolff is clearly a total riff on Han Solo with Michael Ironside’s Mad Dog, a clear knock-off of Darth Vader.  Funny thing is, the film has some pretty decent visual effects, despite the fact that the film was intended for 3-D.  Some of the creature designs are pretty nifty and the sets are pretty damn cool.  It’s a lot of fun, it’s got some creepy moments, and the musical score by Elmer Bernstein is one for the record books for having the most cheese.  The film IS still in print and I have a copy on Blu-Ray, so like the film above, it’s not out-of-print, but it is an obscure little science fiction film that I think deserves more attention than it got.  Always remember Emergency Procedure Number 1: If it doesn’t work, kick it.

Gymkata

Well, file this one under “Never should have been made.”  Yet, here we are with one of the dumbest, silliest and bizarre action movies to come out of the 80s.  If Gymkata was a kind of cheese, it would be parmesan.  The reason for that is that the movie is set in a fictional country known as Parmistan.  Where do I start?  Do I start with the fact that they cast 3-time gymnastics gold medal champion Kurt Thomas as the main character, or do I start with the incredibly absurd story and painful acting.  Don’t get me wrong, I thought Kurt Thomas did pretty well with what he was given as he could do his own stunts, but besides him and Richard Norton, this movie is just incredibly goofy.  A lot of the main action sequences center around Kurt’s gymnastic talent which includes the pommel horse, which has to be seen to be believed.  I’m not kidding.  While the film is kind of in print, it’s one of those incredibly forgettable films that most people would rightfully skip.  But for folks like me?  This is a goldmine.

These are just a handful of some films that I found pretty damned hard to find over the course of my life.  There are a lot more out there, but they can be found if you’re willing to look in the right places.  That being said, if you want to check out more obscure films, you should check out a couple of books by a guy named David J. Moore.  He’s the author of World Gone Wild: A Survivor’s Guide To Post-Apocalyptic Movies and The Good, The Tough, and The Deadly: Action Movies and Stars 1960-Present.  Those are pretty damned good and go over a variety of movies that you probably never heard of, but should see.  So, do you know of any obscure movies that I should check out.  Be sure to comment below.