It’s the middle of June, so that means we are half-way through the year. Already? Where does the time go? Starting last year, I decided I was going to two Best/Worst of the year lists per year. One in June/July and the other in November/December. The reason for me doing this is to keep track of the movies that I’ve seen, but also to let you folks know what I liked and didn’t like, obviously. Like last year, some of the worst movies on this list I still enjoyed, but in a “so bad, it’s good” kind of way. Just a side-note, these are the movies that I’ve seen. I simply don’t have enough time to check out everything that’s been released, indie or mainstream. So, with that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the best and worst movies that I’ve seen so far.
The Worst: Morbius
It’s rare that I go into a movie with very few expectations and still come away angry. Morbius proved that not every comic book character needs their own movie. Morbius is not what I would call a top-tier Marvel character. He doesn’t even come close to Venom. Jerod Leto and Matt Smith were the only real bright spots of the movie. But, oh my god. This movie SUCKS. Between the BLATANT false advertising that featured Michael Keaton as Vulture and the god-awful editing and visual effects, there’s nothing really redeeming about this movie. Michael Keaton does NOT show up in the main movie, but instead is relegated to shitty post-credits scenes. It’s a toothless, bloodless affair that insults its audience. I’ve never left a movie theater that angry before. Now that it’s available on home video, I’ll be sure to avoid this monstrosity. I would urge everybody to do the same. Consider this a public service announcement.
The Best: The Batman
The Batman was one of my most anticipated movies ever since it was announced a couple of years ago. First of all, the casting of Robert Pattinson was actually an inspired one. In fact, the casting of the entire movie is perfect, as far as I’m concerned. Paul Dano is terrifying as The Riddler and Colin Farrell is completely unrecognizable as the Penguin. You also have Zoe Kravitz as Selena Kyle and Andy Serkis as Alfred. Now, this movie isn’t going to be for everyone, because it’s a slow-burn kind of movie. It IS a Batman movie, but the emphasis is on him being a detective here, and it’s fantastic. For a three-hour movie, it’s well-paced and has enough room for it’s characters to breathe. Also: The Batmobile is amazing. I want one. This movie was definitely worth the wait. It exceeded all my expectations. So, yeah, it comes at a very high recommendation from me.
The Worst: Moonfall
You know, I’m a huge fan of Roland Emmerich’s disaster movies. I thought that this movie would another awesome one for him. Ultimately, this one’s going on the guilty-pleasure list. First of all, the concept is ridiculously awesome. Our moon falling out of orbit threatening the complete annihilation of…EVERYTHING on Earth? Sign me up! Here’s the problem, though. While Moonfall delivers on some of its batshit crazy premise, it doesn’t go nearly far enough. This needed to be COMPLETELY over-the-top bonkers with massive destruction on a planetary scale. It just couldn’t do it. I don’t know if it was the limitations of its budget or shoddy writing, but this movie should’ve been more fun than it was.
The Best: Catch The Fair One
I’ve been paying attention to this movie since it made the rounds at several film festivals last year, including Tribeca and Warsaw International. The film finally saw a release to the general public earlier this year in a very limited theatrical run. It hit VOD in May and finally DVD/Blu-Ray about two weeks ago. While the premise is very similar to a lot of other films that deal with human trafficking, the difference here is that this movie focuses on a Native American played by Kali “K.O.” Reis, a real-life Native American boxer. It’s a simple revenge-thriller, but it’s well-written, and the pace is great. But this is Reis’ show through and through. This is a powerful performance from someone who is more known for their actual fighting. It’s a fantastic film that deserves more attention than what its getting. It’s a brutal movie, though, but absolutely worth checking out.
The Worst: Firestarter
How do you fuck up a Stephen King adaptation? Like this. I knew something was wrong when Universal Studios announced that Firestarter was going to have a day-and-date release. That means it was getting a theatrical release while being put on Peacock at the some time. They clearly didn’t have faith in this movie and there’s a reason why: It’s bad. Real bad. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the 1984 film with Drew Barrymore was a classic, it’s positively Shakespearean compared to this dreck. Honestly, the only real saving grace this movie’s got is the girl that played Charlie, the girl that can start fires with her mind. She’s fantastic. For a movie called Firestarter, there’s not a lot of fire-starting. It’s just boring and contrived. Stick with the original movie or even better, stick with the book.
The Best: The Northman
If there’s a name that you should pay attention to in terms of film-making, it’s Robert Eggers. This guy directed The Witch and The Lighthouse, two outstanding indie movies that prove that Eggers is a force to be reckoned with. With The Northman, Eggers is three-for-three. Based on an old Scandinavian legend that inspired Shakespeare’s Hamlet, The Northman follows a Viking warrior named Amleth as he sets out to kill his uncle, who murdered his father and captured his mother. I should warn you, that the trailers show you a Viking story that is grand and epic in scale and scope. It’s nothing of the sort. This is a very intimate look at revenge. Alexander Skarsgard is amazing. He delivers a vicious and animalistic performance that I’ve never seen from him before. Anya Taylor-Joy is equally amazing as Olga, a witch, making this her second movie with Eggers. Ethan Hawke, Nicole Kidman, and Willem Defoe are all excellent here. It wasn’t exactly the movie that I was expecting, but I’m incredibly happy that it was the movie that I ended up with.
The Worst: Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Boy, the bad movies this are REALLY bad, aren’t they? I’m a huge fan of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The original 1974 chiller is one of the all-time great horror movies. It had a very distinct, grind-house, almost documentary-style feel to it. There wasn’t much of a story beyond a group of youngsters that get lost on a back road in Texas. They eventually run into a bizarre clan of hillbilly cannibals, one of whom is the infamous Leatherface. I like the second movie and I liked the 2003 remake. But everything else about that franchise was not great. Netflix’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre may be the worst of the bunch. Sure, it delivers on the gore and carnage, and for some people that might be enough, but that’s not what the original film was about. Gore doesn’t make a movie scary. TENSION makes a movie scary, especially if the characters are relatable enough. The characters in this latest movie? They’re awful. I couldn’t wait to see them die. Not only that, they brought back the character Sally Hardesty, who was the survivor from the original film, only to kill her in this movie. It is incredibly disrespectful to Tobe Hooper’s original vision. Marylin Burns would be spinning in her grave if she knew how her ended up.
The Best: Top Gun: Maverick
When it comes to legacy sequels, it’s a crap-shoot on how they turn out. Sure, you’ve got Blade Runner 2049 which was an amazing sequel, but on the end of the spectrum, you’ve got movies like Independence Day Resurgence which wasn’t that great. Top Gun: Maverick may very well be the single best legacy sequel out there. THIS is how you kick off the summer movie season. The original Top Gun came out back in 1986, so that’s a LONG time without a sequel. Tom Cruise wouldn’t have done this movie if it wasn’t going to be relevant in some way or if it had a lack-luster script. Well, I can tell you: Top Gun: Maverick is amazing. It’s not only a great sequel, it’s better than the original film in nearly every way. If you want aerial action sequences, you’re going to get them, and they are amazing, because they’re done for real. They used real jets and pilots to do some really out-of-this-world stuff. It’s spectacular. But where this movie really shines, is it’s characters. These are phenomenal characters. Even Cruise’s Maverick has a really good arc in this film. Also, how they handled Val Kilmer’s character was wonderful and respectful. This is a movie that could’ve easily gone the wrong way, but Tom Cruise’s dedication to his craft as a film-maker allowed Top Gun: Maverick to be one of the best action movies of the year. It had the best opening of Cruise’s career. I was amazed at how much I was emotionally invested in this movie. There were tears. Yes. Tears. It’s that good.
The Worst: Jurassic World Dominion
Ignoring the fact that the first thirty minutes of the movie were some of the most literally painful moments I’ve ever sat through, this movie is a disaster. It does NOT deliver on the promise that the title suggests. Yeah, it brings back legacy characters like Ian Malcolm, Alan Grant, and Ellie Sattler, but the movie has the least amount of dinosaur action I’ve ever seen in this franchise. Nope, the movie wants you to focus on the dumbass story-line that involves mutated locusts. This should’ve been a knock-out movie of apocalyptic proportions, but that’s not what we get. What we get is the same goddamn thing that these movies have been doing since the original Jurassic Park. Except that Jurassic Park did it better. Nearly 30 years later, that movie looks better than what we got with Dominion. I don’t know if it was somebody at Universal or Colin Trevorrow, but somebody really dropped the ball with this movie. But it IS clear that Colin Trevorrow should NOT be given the keys to a major film franchise ever again.
The Best: Jackass Forever
I never thought that I would ever put a Jackass movie on this list. I’ve always found that kind of humor to be really juvenile and stupid. Yet, I guess Jackass was the kind of movie that we needed this year, because this was some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time. There’s no story here. Nope, it’s just Johnny Knoxville and his buddies getting together and doing stupid stunts for our amusement. I can’t believe some of the stuff that they did in this movie. It’s often very painful, but yay schadenfreude? Seeing Knoxville take on a bull was almost too much, but it was spectacular. I haven’t laughed that hard in so long. Bravo, Jackass team. Bravo.
Well, that’s going to cover the first half of the year. We’ve still got a lot more ground to cover in the next 6 months, so I’m looking forward to seeing what’s coming. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I had writing it. As always, leave your comments below and let me know what you think.