Director: Aaron Norris
Released: March 1994
Run Time: 95 Minutes
Rated R
Distributor: The Canon Group
Genre: Action/Horror
Cast:
Chuck Norris: Frank Shatter
Calvin Levels: Calvin Jackson
Christopher Neame: Lockley
Sheree J. Wilson: Leslie
David Robb: King Richard
Growing up as an 80s/90s kid, I was exposed to a lot of different movies. Star Wars was one of my first movies, and from there it was Indiana Jones, Aliens, and a whole mess of other kinds of movies. But one of my favorite decades when it comes to movies was the 80 and 90s. Why? The action movies. The 80s had the best action movie stars in the world: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Sho Kosugi, Mel Gibson, Kurt Russell, Sigourney Weaver, and Peter Weller. But the one action star that I really enjoyed watching was the legendary Chuck Norris. Yes, Chuck Norris: The man who doesn’t do push-ups, but pushes the Earth down; the man that the boogie man fears, and the man whose beard hides another fist. In all seriousness, this guy had a hell of a career. I mean, he basically started his movie career going up against Bruce Lee in The Way of the Dragon. That was one of the greatest fight scenes in cinematic history. He’s been in some of the most memorable movies in the 80s and early 90s, like Lone Wolf McQuade, Code of Silence, The Delta Force, Top Dog, and Missing In Action. You know what WASN’T memorable? Hellbound.
Hellbound follows police detective Frank Shatter and his partner, Calvin Jackson as they investigate the bizarre and brutal murder of a rabbi. During their investigation, they come across what appears to be a piece of an ancient scepter that belonged to a demonic creature known as Prosatanos. According to legend(in the film), the scepter was shattered by King Richard the Lionheart during the Crusades, preventing Armageddon. Prosatanos, who was alive during the time of King Richard, has apparently returned to fulfill his destiny and open the gates of Hell. You know, I’m a huge of supernatural movies. I loved movies like The Exorcist, End of Days, Warlock, and other movies dealing with otherworldly and demonic forces. So, throwing Chuck Norris into a supernatural action flick probably would have been a good idea, right? In the hands of better film-makers, maybe. The story here is as silly as it gets, and I think the actors are in on the joke. You ever watch a movie as a kid that you thought you loved, but when you watch it again decades later, you realize that it ain’t that good? That’s my experience with Hellbound.
Let’s be honest here: Nobody in a Chuck Norris movie is going to win awards for acting. It just isn’t going to happen. Hellbound is a perfect example of why that is. When I said that the actors appeared to be in on the joke, I meant it. The villain, played by Christopher Neame takes to another level. This guy chews the scenery so much, that there isn’t much left anybody else to latch on to. He’s so over-the-top, it’s funny. Calvin Levels plays Jackson, Shatter’s sidekick, essentially. This movie was released when sidekicks were particularly annoying, and Jackson was irritating on so many levels. After he and Shatter arrive in Israel, the only thing that Jackson does is bitch and moan about it being too hot, and not getting anything to eat. It’s a running gag that was never funny to begin with. Sheree J. Wilson plays Leslie, the archaeological assistant and Shatter’s potential love interest. If Sheree’s name seems familiar, it’s because she was also in Walker, Texas Ranger with Chuck Norris as well. She doesn’t really do a whole lot, she’s just there, but she’s not annoying in any way. Now we get down to brass tacks: Chuck Norris. I think Norris would be humble to come out and tell you that he’s not exactly a great actor, and he isn’t. He plays Chuck Norris, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, since he does it pretty well. His character of Frank Shatter is pretty much the standard cop that he played so often. He plays a tough, wise-cracking cop that can send people flying with a single punch. Like Chuck Norris. I have to give the guy credit. He knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows what he’s good at it, and most of the time you can see it on screen. He just wants to entertain and for the most part, he succeeds.
If there’s a phrase that I can use to describe the action in Chuck Norris’ movies, it would be “blunt-force trauma.” I’m not going to sugar-coat it, the fight scenes in Chuck’s movies aren’t the most elegant in the world. But we’re not talking about a kung-fu expert here. Chuck Norris’ style is not kung-fu. He’s studied Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, and Jiu Jitsu. There’s nothing super elegant about these styles, but when it comes to on-screen fighting, they can be fun to watch. Chuck doesn’t do the fancy hand movements of kung-fu, he just kicks people in the face. For the movies that he’s done, that is all that’s needed. The fights in this film were choreographed by Benny “The Jet” Urquidez, a multiple-time world kickboxing champion, so he knows how to stage fights. It never gets old seeing Chuck deliver a spinning hook kick to somebody’s skull. It’s one of his trademark moves. Unfortunately, because the film didn’t actually get a proper DVD release or visual transfer, it looks terrible. Sometimes it’s dark and you can’t really see what’s going on. That has more to do with the release of the film, not necessarily the film itself. The action that you can see is not that bad, especially at the end of the film. Seeing Chuck Norris take on a demon is actually pretty cool.
I’m a huge fan of Chuck Norris, but Hellbound was definitely NOT one of his better movies. I enjoyed it as a teenager, but looking at it NOW, what was I thinking? This was a complete cornball of a film, and yet, I’m still strangely entertained by it. There’s a lot of things wrong with this movie, but I certainly wouldn’t say that to Chuck Norris’ face. He’d punch me in the face without lifting an arm. In all seriousness, though, Hellbound is an odd one for Chuck that doesn’t quite work. It’s too goofy for its own good, with a soundtrack that is just incredibly ridiculous. Even if you are a Chuck Norris fan like me, you could probably afford to skip this one.
My Final Recommendation: Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. 6.5/10