Released: February 7(Poland)
Directors: Barbara Bialowas and Tomasz Mandes
Rated TV-MA
Run Time: 114 Minutes
Distributor: Netflix(USA)
Genre: Drama/Romance
Cast:
Michele Morrone: Massimo
Anna Maria Sieklucka: Laura
Bronislaw Wroclawski: Mario
Otar Saralidze: Domenico
Magdalena Lamparska: Olga
Natasza Urbanska: Anna
I’ve seen a lot of movies over the course of my life. A lot. I’ve seen all kinds of films from kids movies to extreme horror. There is a line that I definitely don’t cross when it comes to movies, but it’s so far out there that very few movies can either offend me, piss me off, or both. I can count on one hand how many times that’s happened. I tend to be very tolerant of even the most absurd and offensive horror movie, mostly because I know it’s just that: A movie. People have different kinds of tolerance when it comes to movies, and that’s fine. People were pissed when movies like The Last House on the Left and I Spit on Your Grave were released. Rightly so as the content of those movies was pretty extreme. especially for the 70s. It was certainly a different time. When the 50 Shades of Grey movie came out, people got into a hissy-fit about the whole thing and how it treated women. I was more pissed because 50 Shades of Grey, which started out as shit fan-fiction of Twilight, managed to get made into movie. It was poorly written, poorly acted, and quite frankly, stupid on all levels. But I didn’t find it overly offensive. I’ll get into why in a bit, because it brings me to the Polish equivalent of 50 Shades of Grey, 365 Days.
365 Days tells the story of a Polish woman, Laura, as she gets kidnapped by the head of the Sicilian mob, Massimo. Massimo gives Laura 365 days to fall in love with him or….something happens. That’s it. That’s the plot of the whole movie. It’s really pathetic when I can sum up the plot of an entire movie in one sentence. But let’s be honest: The story is NOT why people go to see a movie like this. It garnered a lot of controversy and it’s been slammed by critics left and right. I’m no expert on relationships, and even less so on women, but I’m pretty sure you don’t get a woman to fall in love with you by kidnapping her. IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! This is what I find offensive about this movie: It romanticizes kidnapping and everything that seems to go along with it. Here’s the reality: Kidnapping is a traumatic event. There’s nothing romantic about that. Let me list off the crimes perpetrated against Laura in this movie: Kidnapping for starters. That’s bad enough, but she also suffers from emotional, physical AND sexual abuse. Even though she wasn’t actually raped, she was forced to witness sexual acts performed, so it still counts. What makes this worse is that the writers and directors had Laura provoking Massimo to the point where he would react. So, the movie blames the victim. The toxic masculinity in the film is unbelievable. The story was written by a WOMAN, of all people. 50 Shades of Grey kind of gets away with it because it’s TWO consenting adults agreeing to the relationship. That doesn’t happen here. What happens is Stockholm Syndrome taken to an extreme. I’m picky when it comes to political correctness, but given today’s climate, 365 Days comes across as misogynistic. Oh, and that ending is a cliffhanger, because they plan on a sequel. God help us.
The story isn’t the only thing seriously wrong with this movie. The acting is dreadful. Michele Morrone constantly walks around with his chest puffed out thinking he’s all that, when he mostly comes across as a spoiled and conceited dirt-bag. He makes Christian Grey look like Casanova. I don’t necessarily think that the actor is at fault here as the direction of the film is banal and bland. Honestly, the only person that managed to be pretty good was Anna Maria Sieklucka as Laura. There were some moments where I thought she was kind of laying it on pretty thick, but for the most part, she was fairly convincing. Everybody else was awful. Look, I’m actually not blaming the actors here. The directors are obviously inexperienced and they tried to ride on the coat-tails of the 50 Shades movies. If you’re watching this movie for a lot of skin and steamy stuff, you’re definitely going to get it. It gets pretty explicit. I will say this for the cinematography, it’s good enough to see everything happening, but the question you should be asking yourself is: Is all that sex really necessary? Most of it takes place in the second half of the movie, where it basically becomes a glorified porno. If you’re not buying into the relationship between the two main characters, and most of us don’t, the sex comes across as sleazy and exploitative.
This ties back in with what I said about the story, but the writing in this movie is dreadful. I haven’t read the book that this movie is based on, but most people outside of Poland haven’t and aren’t likely to anytime soon. If the book is anything like the movie, then it’s probably a good thing that it’s not available in English-speaking countries. The idea behind the movie is really offensive. Basically, it blames the victim at points, and has the victim falling in love with her captor. It’s not that the idea couldn’t work, it could. It just needed a better writer, director and more respect for women. There was a lot of hubbub about this film glorifying kidnapping and sexual assault. For once, I’m actually in agreement, as the film makes both men and women look really bad. 365 Days is essentially the Polish version of Fifty Shades of Grey, only pornier(is that even a word, if not, it should be). I have no problems with romantic films. I really don’t. There are some like A Star is Born that I enjoy very much and THAT movie handled the romance very well. It felt genuine and heartfelt. Here, it’s more exploitative and raunchy.
I hate coming down on movies so hard, but when a movie is as offensive as 365 Days, I have to be honest about it. This movie sucks and not even on a “so bad it’s good” level. It’s just bad. The worst part is that the film is based on a book that has two sequels. There are plans for a sequel, but it’s on hold because of the current pandemic, so people are stuck with a movie that ends on a cliffhanger. I hate it when movies do that anyway, but for a movie as bad as this to do that is unforgivable. It’s sloppy and it’s lazy. There are one or two things that I like here. For one, I like the lead actress. I thought she pretty good. Some of the cinematography is decent, but the rest of the movie is an unmitigated disaster. It’s like watching a train-wreck catch fire and then explode before it gets out of the hanger. Does that expression make any sense? No, and neither does this movie. Avoid it. If you’re curious about it, I’m sure it’ll end up on Pornhub or one of those other sites….not that I profess to have any special knowledge about such things.