A while back I made a list of some of the best sequels to movies ever made. I mentioned some really fantastic films like Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Wolf Creek 2, X-2: X-men United, and Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior. These were awesome movies because they took what was already great about the original film and improved on it in nearly every way. They proved that you can take an already successful film and make a worthy follow-up that people will flock to. Unfortunately, not all movies get good sequels. Sometimes, a poor sequel can be the end of a film franchise. Yet, on the other side of the coin, even a bad sequel can be successful. So what makes a sequel bad? The script can be overblown or completely inconsistent with bad acting, dialogue, visual effects and/or poor plot points. That’s not to say that these movies are BAD movies per se, but they have no chance of hitting that bar that the original film set. Some of the films I’m going to mention are going to be ones that I enjoyed. Again, a bad sequel doesn’t always equal a bad movie. So, let’s get this train-wreck on the move. Note: As usual, these are not going to be in any particular order with the exception of one. Some of you may already know what it is, but I’ll get to it.
Spider-Man 3
Awesome trailer, no? I’ll be honest, for the most part, Sam Raimi’s third entry into the franchise isn’t a total loss. It has some really awesome action sequences and great visual effects. It can be genuinely thrilling. Thomas Haden Church turns in a fantastic performance as Sand Man. He should have been the main villain of the film. But there’s quite a few problems with this movie. One: Venom. I love the character, he can be a bit of an anti-hero in the comics as well as a super-villain, but they screwed the pooch here. They cast Topher Grace as Eddie Brock. Brock was a pretty big dude. Topher isn’t. He doesn’t get a whole lot of screen-time as Venom, and when he does, he doesn’t do the whole “we” thing like in the comics or the cartoons. He also goes out like a little bitch in the end. Two: Too many villains. Not only do you have Venom and Sand Man in the picture together, but the movie also throws in the New Green Goblin to spice things up. Each of Spider-Man’s encounters with these characters could have easily been a movie. There are too many plot points to give a cohesive narrative and that leads me to the biggest issue with the movie I’ve got: “Emo” Peter Parker. In the comics and the story, a black alien substance attaches itself to Parker’s suit and when he puts it on, it has an affect on him. It enhances his strength considerably, but it also exposes Peter Parker’s darker side. That’s a great plot point, but there’s a problem: It doesn’t turn out very well. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this. It’s embarrassing. That’s not the worst part: The dance numbers. Dance numbers? In a Spider-Man movie?! That is one of the biggest face-palm moments I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie. Sure, Spider-Man 3 did pretty well at the box-office, but critically, it got lambasted. 5 years later, the franchise gets a re-boot starring Andrew Garfield. It actually wound being a much better film. Spider-Man 3 was a mess, to be sure. But it wasn’t the worst sequel I’ve ever seen. Oh, no. There are plenty more on the way.
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
The original Mad Max film starring Mel Gibson was a brilliant and spectacular film. It gave us a small glimpse into post-apocalyptic Australia. While the apocalyptic wastelands were mostly inferred, Mad Max fired on all cylinders when it came to the car chases and stunts. It was awesome. The sequel The Road Warrior took it to whole new level, showing us the wastelands and anarchy of the aftermath of the apocalypse. Warring tribes fight for fuel while Max is trying to make is way in the world, when he’s dragged into the conflict. This movie has some of the best car chases ever put on film. The last 40 minutes is a thrill-ride. That brings us to the tepid third film. Beyond Thunderdome is a horrible PG-13 mish-mash of bad ideas and Tina Turner. It also turns Max into some kind of savior for a group of parentless urchins who live in an oasis somewhere in the wastelands. Great, they turned “Mad” Max Rockatansky into a baby-sitter. Then there’s Tina Turner. I think she’s a fantastic singer, but an actress she is not. When it comes to playing a villain, she comes across as a laughing-stock. There are things in the film that remind me of the previous movies, but it’s mired between horrendous writing and a bare-bones story. This is what happens when you take a series that’s known for it’s R-rated brutality and violence and water it down to try and appeal to the masses. It NEVER works. You just end up alienating the fans you’ve already got.
The Matrix Revolutions
The Matrix Trilogy is a prime example of what happens when you take a very interesting premise that really wasn’t that complicated to begin with and stretch it out for three movies. The original film was revolutionary. It gave us an interesting story with very interesting characters(yes, that includes Mr. Anderson a.k.a Neo). But the film also delivered on an awesome mix of kung-fu, gun-play and Cartesian philosophy. It was a mix that really worked and gave us one of the best sci-fi action movies of the decade. The second film delivered on the action, but it got hampered with some really bad writing and more philosophical mumbo-jumbo. The Matrix Revolutions goes to a whole new level of stupid. Honestly, I can’t deny that the action and visual effects in these movies is top-notch. It’s just a shame that the Wachowski’s opted to hammer home more philosophical junk that makes absolutely no sense and an ending that is so completely anti-climactic that it pissed me off. Turning Neo into a Christ-like savior was completely unnecessary. He could have just beaten Smith to death and that would have been the end of it. But no, the Wachowski’s tried to make a statement and it ended up falling flat on its face. Reloaded and Revolutions were shot back-to-back, and I think it was clear that the Wachowskis ran out of ideas. I happen to like each of the films, and the third film has an awesome fight between Neo and Smith, but you have to watch the movie just for the action, nothing else, that’s all it’s good for.
Any of the Scorpion King Sequels
I’m not even going to bother with a trailer for these, because they are just plain horrendous. The first movie was already a spin-off of The Mummy films, but at least it had the presence of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. It was a fun little diversion with some pretty witty dialogue and some awesome action. It showcased Dwayne Johnson’s potential as an action star. It should have ended there. It didn’t. We got three sequels. Scorpion King 2 is actually a prequel, but lumping it with the others because of it’s horrificness. That word should be in the Miriam-Webster Dictionary. It used to be that direct-to-video movies were generally awful, and while that is still the case for the most part, a good chunk of those movies are actually pretty decent, just not the The Scorpion King ones. I was actually excited for Scorpion King 2 when it was announced and I blind-bought it. That was a mistake. It was horrible in every aspect. The worst part is the guy who directed it: Russell Mulcahy. You know what else he directed? Highlander. Guess he is a one-hit wonder. The other movies? Not nearly as bad, but still pretty lousy, although, the guy they got to play The Scorpion King wasn’t too bad. The first movie ain’t shabby, but stay away from the sequels. They are truly bad sequels.
Highlander: The Source
Speaking of Highlander, here’s one. I’m going to make this one easy on me: Just read this. It’ll tell you everything you need to know about how this film craps over the franchise. Stick with the original or Anime movies. You’ll thank me later.
Alien Resurrection
Sometimes when I think about this one, I feel a little conflicted. It’s not a bad movie at all. It really isn’t. It’s awesome to see Sigourney Weaver reprise the role of Ripley again, even if it is a clone. The writing is surprisingly sharp, thanks to Joss Whedon. It also has some pretty quirky characters played by the likes of Ron Perlman, Michael Wincott, Wynona Ryder and Brad Dourif. That is quite the cast, and they all do great jobs. It’s also a very thrilling film in it’s own right and has a unique sense of humor about it. That’s also where the problem is. It’s too light-hearted for its own good. The first three movies were very dark, atmospheric and bleak. Resurrection certainly is bleak, but the tone of the movie is just too different from the others. It just doesn’t feel like an Alien film. It’s one of those movies that isn’t really that bad, but it fails as a sequel. It relies on too much cliches and tropes inherent in many sci-fi movies. It gave us a really creepy new monster, though. I’ll give it that. For the gore-hounds, there’s much to like here. I personally tend to not include Alien Resurrection as part of the series. As far as I’m concerned, Ripley’s story ended in the third film. I would love to see another Alien movie that doesn’t involve Ripley. The stories are out there as we’ve got hundreds of books and comics to draw from.
A Good Day To Die Hard
Bruce Willis used to be one of the world’s most bankable stars. He was very reliable when it came to acting. He was very, very good. The movie that really put him on the map was John McTiernan’s Die Hard. This was one of the best action movies of the 80s and basically made Willis a household name overnight. He’s been in numerous action vehicles that have done pretty well, but recently, he’s really started going downhill. I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the fourth Die Hard movie, but it actually ended up being a pretty decent fare for a PG-13 movie. Watch the unrated DVD instead, though. A Good Day To Die Hard is the latest entry in the series. Honestly, I got a kick out of it. It’s action-packed and fast-paced. The banter between him and his son, Jack is amusing at times. Here’s the problem. They took a New York cop and put him in Russia and made the villains generic…..Russians. I would’ve been happy with another Gruber as the baddie. Nope. It also doesn’t feel like Bruce is giving his all in this movie. It’s a shame, because it’s the role that he’s most associated with. It’s a good action movie, but it’s a poor Die Hard film. Word is that they are trying to go forward with a 6th movie. God, I hope not. Either that, or Bruce Willis needs to step up his game, because he’s starting to get too old for this stuff.
Batman and Robin
You knew it was coming. You knew. Here it is. There’s a reason why I saved this one for last. I’m a huge fan of Batman, always have been. The first two movies with Michael Keaton were amazing. Even Batman Forever still maintained that darkness that had been a part of the series thus far. It was a fun and colorful film that actually felt like a comic book. Batman And Robin has no right to exist. Warner Bros tried to go for a more family friendly affair with this one so they took out one of the most important elements that made Batman what he is: His damaged psyche from witnessing the murder of his parents. That’s pretty damaging stuff, and to see that element removed entirely just doesn’t make sense. Everything went wrong with this entry. The casting was just bizarre. George Clooney as Batman and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze? Dreadful. I like both actors, I really do. But they have no place in a movie like this. I could actually see Arnold as Freeze, though, in a better film. But Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl? That was a colossal screw-up. I honestly don’t think her career’s recovered at all. The character is supposed to be Gordon’s daughter, not Alfred’s niece. Don’t get me started on Bane. Oh, my god, they really butchered that one. The visual effects are terrible and everything looks like plastic. The writing is a complete disaster and the fight choreography is generally lousy. Also: The puns. I’m good with puns and I love a cheesy joke, but the puns in Batman And Robin are cringe-worthy. I’ve got one word to say about the suits: Nipples. Yes, they had the audacity to put nipples on the bat-suit. Did they really think it was necessary to make the suit anatomically correct? There are a few bright spots here. One, Poison Ivy. Despite the writing, I actually like Uma Thurman as the character. Bruce’s conversations with Alfred are also pretty good and fairly powerful. It’s just a shame the rest of the film is a complete wreck. Director Joel Schumaker has since apologized for it, as did George Clooney. This film would have killed the franchise completely if Warner Bros. didn’t put it on the back-burner for a while. Thankfully, Christopher Nolan saved the fanchise with his Dark Knight Trilogy, starring Christian Bale.
That’s my list for the worst movie sequels. What are some of yours? Feel free to comment below.