Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie Snoozefest

Director(s): David Winning and Shuki Levi

Release Date: March 1997

Rated PG

Run Time: 99 Minutes

Distributor: Fox Studios

Genre: Family, Action, Adventure

Cast:
Jason David Frank: Tommy
Johnny Yong Bosch: Adam
Steve Cardenas: Rocky
Catherine Sutherland: Kat
Nakia Burrise: Tanya
Blake Foster: Justin
Hilary Stewart: Divatox
Austin St. John: Jason
Amy Jo Johnson: Kimberly

When I published my review of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie a few days, an old friend of mine saw and read it, and requested that I review this one.  So….I took up the challenge.  But first, a little background on the Power Rangers:  By this point in 1997, the Rangers had undergone multiple changes in the first four seasons of the show.  About half-way through the second season, we saw a major shake-up in the cast, with Austin St. John, Thuy Trang, and Walter Jones being replaced by Johnny Yong Bosch, Steve Cardenas and Karen Ashley in the roles of the Red, Black and Yellow Rangers respectively.  The robots that the Rangers piloted, called Zords, kept changing too.  First there were the Dino Zords, Dragon Zords and finally, the Ninja Zords.  That was just the first three seasons.  When Power Rangers Zeo came out, the Rangers’ command center was destroyed.  I’ll be honest:  I checked out of the Power Rangers during the second season.  The first Power Rangers film came out in 1995 towards the end of the second season, but was really a stand-alone film.  You know what?  For what it was, it worked.  It was certainly silly in parts, and had some really bad CGI, but the fights were interesting, and you had a very unique and entertaining villain in Ivan Ooze.  The film wasn’t good, but it was a lot of fun.  I still have fun watching it as an adult.  Now, the second Power Rangers film came out in 1997.  This was supposed to be a kind of a bridge between Power Rangers Zeo and Power Rangers Turbo.  Oh, dear.  There was a reason why I never saw Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie when I was younger.  It didn’t last very long in theaters and it was torn to shreds as one of the worst movies of 1997.

The film opens on a distant planet that looks suspiciously like a cross between California and Hawaii, with an ugly little monkey-thing being chased by other ugly non-monkey things.  Using a magic crystal, the ugly monkey-thing is whisked away to our cozy little planet Earth.  Unbeknownst to Earth, but beknownst to us, the little ugly monkey-thing is being chased by a horrendously over-acted evil space pirate with massive cleavage: Divatox.  So, the Rangers’ leader, Zordon sends them to find the little ugly monkey-thing and bring him back to the command center.  Yet, unbeknownst to the Rangers…again, Divatox has taken Jason and Kimberly captive to be used as human sacrifices because….reasons.  So, the Rangers, with the exception of Rocky, who injured his back during some kind of training thing for a tournament is forced to sit/lay it out.  In his place is an irritating youngster by the name of Justin.  So…off they go to try and save the universe, because the universe is apparently inept at protecting itself.  Universe:  Get some bodyguards!  Oh…wait.  Yeah, the story is just….meh.  It doesn’t help that the writing is just god-awful, but that’s the least of the film’s problems.

Let’s start with that ugly little monkey-thing,  this:

Just look at those little fuckers.  They look like rejects from either Return Of The Jedi or Labyrinth.  They don’t even speak, they make these little purring sounds.  Secretly, I was hoping that the Rangers or Divatox at least, would throw them off a cliff.  Well, the least I can say is that there’s really not a ton of CGI in the movie.  What CGI there is, however, is…worse than Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.  Yeah, I said it.  Most of the creature effects really aren’t that good.  However, one of the FEW things that Turbo has over the previous film is in it’s final boss battle with the demon Maligore.  These are done in the style of the TV show, which is to say, men in suits.  As it should be.  It was actually not terrible.  The problem is that we had to slog through about 50 minutes of film just to get to the main action scenes.  It should NEVER take that long to get to an action sequence, especially in a Power Rangers movie.  This is really embarrassing.

What about the action?  Shuki Levi actually managed to screw this up.  The fights are mostly uninspired garbage.  Mortal Kombat: Annihilation had better fight scenes than this.  The most interesting fight scene is at the end of the movie, AFTER they beat the bad guy.  Yeah, the tournament scene at the end of the film was more interesting than the battle in the volcano.  How do you screw THAT up?  The acting, on the scale of “Oh, sweet Baby Jesus” To “Bleh!,” it ranks about, “Dogshit.”  I know that this is supposed to be a family film, but when you have a villain whose boobs are almost spilling out, you have to wonder who this movie is really marketed towards.

I did like the fact that we got to see Kimberly and Jason together again in a Power Rangers movie.  That was cool.  The new outfits and vehicles were also kinda cool.  Seeing Jason and Kimberly turn evil was rather unexpected and surprisingly fun to watch.  The scene in the volcano wasn’t horrible, but it was just…mediocre.  The theme song for the new series was pretty nifty:

Unfortunately, the good stuff is completely overshadowed by the bad.  This whole thing feels like a really, really bad extended episode of the TV series.  The first film had the benefit of being a stand-alone story, so it wouldn’t affect the series.  Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie IS canon, as it’s supposed to be the bridge between Zeo and Turbo.  It fails on nearly every level, though.  If you’re a fan of the series, and I still am to a certain extent, this is NOT a good way to get familiar with the characters and stories.  I get it, this supposed to sell toys, but it didn’t convince kids back then, and it certainly wouldn’t convince anybody now.  This one’s a complete train-wreck.  My final score is…….3/10.  This is really bad.

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