Transformers: The Last Knight

Released: June 2017

Director: Michael Bay

Rated PG-13

Run Time: 149 Minutes

Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Genre: Science Fiction/Action

Cast:
Mark Wahlburg: Cade Yeager
Anthony Hopkins: Sir Edmund Burton
Josh Duhamel: Colonel William Lennox
Laura Haddock: Vivian Wembley
Peter Cullen: Optimus Prime(Voice)
Frank Welker: Megatron(Voice)
Erik Aadahl: Bumblebee)Voice

It seems as though 2017 will be known as the year of the number 5.  Why?  Because of the amount of movies that are in their 5th iteration.  In January we had our 5th Underworld film: Blood Wars, then last month we had Pirates of the Caribbean 5, and now we have a 5th Transformers movie.  Why?  Because of this: $.  Don’t get me wrong, I get why sequels are made; it’s a business.  If you have movie that performs extraordinarily well, why wouldn’t you try to duplicate that success?  I absolutely would.  I’m going to discuss this particular point in another post, but one of the reasons why certain franchises shouldn’t be extended past a certain point is that they stop being fresh.  They stop being original and keep rehashing older ideas.  Certain franchises like Star Wars have a lot to draw from, so I don’t see that ending any time soon.  It’s becoming increasingly clear that Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean are swiftly running out of ideas.  I guess it comes down to the writers who end up not having a lot to offer.  So, what does Transformers 5 have to offer?

In the Dark Ages, King Arthur and his Knights are losing a battle against the invading Saxons.  Struggling to hold on while Merlin searches for an ancient weapon that will help them win the war.  It turns out that this ancient weapon is a group of Transformer “knights” who lend Merlin their staff so that Arthur can win the war.  1600 Years later, Transformers are on the run from the planet’s governments, except Cuba, and more keep arriving day by day.  It appears that this staff is the key to reviving the Transformers’ home planet of Cybertron.  Seeking to destroy his creator, Optimus Prime lands on Cybertron and is captured and brainwashed by Quintessa, the creator of the Transformers.  If you think that doesn’t make any sense, whatsoever, you’re not alone.  This movie’s story is so convoluted, I can’t make heads or tails of it.  It’s not the good kind of convoluted, either.  They’re re-writing Earth’s history in a far more blatant fashion than in the previous films.  There is far too much going on than what is needed for a Transformers movie.  It never needed to be complicated.  It’s Autobots vs. Decepticons.  What more do you need?  Apparently, the writers decided it would be cool to draw on the legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, as well as bringing Unicron into the mix.  Unicron, I get.  Absolutely.  I’ve been wanting for this to happen for years.  But we won’t see Unicron in full until the next movie, if there’s a next movie.  But bringing King Arthur into the mix?  There was no need for that.  It didn’t really add anything new.  It’s just best not to go into a movie like this expecting a decent story.

Since this is a Michael Bay movie, you really can’t expect Oscar-worthy performances.  You won’t get them.  It would have been one thing if these characters were people that you cared about, but the way they are written, kinda makes them…..there.  Honestly, I had no emotional connection to any of the characters on the screen.  Most of them were irritating.  Mark Wahlburg and Josh Duhamel were the only actors that actually managed to be somewhat convincing.  Anthony Hopkins was a hoot to watch however.  Everyone else was forgettable.  As for the robots?  That’s a much better situation.  Frank Welker returns to voice Megatron, and that is totally awesome.  Peter Cullen is and always has been Optimus Prime.  Nobody else has that kind of a commanding voice.  If there was an issue with the voice acting, it’s with the casting of Omar Sy as Hot Rod.  Giving Hot Rod a French accent was a bad idea.  I’m not knocking Omar Sy for that, he did pretty well, but Hot Rod is NOT French.

If there’s one thing that Michael Bay is truly known for, is action.  This guy knows how to blow shit up.  He’s had over twenty years to perfect the art of destruction and it is truly on display here.  Transformers is a fairly action-packed movie, but thankfully, it’s action that you can see.  Bay has thankfully moved away from the whole hyper-active editing that he’s usually known for.  For these enormous set-pieces, you can’t really do that kind of editing.  The opening battle sequence between the Britons and the Saxons is truly epic.  It’s explosive and you have two massive armies colliding.  Awesome.  I mean that, it was pretty cool.  In fact, most of the action in the film is pretty damn good.  There’s a lot of it, so you’re never bored.  If you can ignore the nonsensical story-line and just come for the action, there’s plenty to love here.  The CGI and effects are simply astounding.  The last act of the movie is absolutely bonkers.  I will say this for Michael Bay:  When he wants to go big, he goes BIG!  He’s always been about large-scale action, and he delivers in spades with this one.

Unfortunately, all the action in the world can’t really hold up a movie that’s bogged down by an needlessly complex story with substandard characters and fairly lousy writing.  Yeah, the action’s fantastic and the movie’s not boring, but there’s nothing here that we haven’t seen before.  After seeing movies like Logan and Wonder Woman that have fantastic stories, characters AND action, it’s a bit of a let-down to see a big movie that’s overly reliant on action.  Now, to be fair, Michael Bay is no idiot; he knows that his movies make money, and he’s got fans.  Truth be told, I’m one of them.  I love how he directs big action sequences.  But until he can learn to hire writers that can deliver compelling story-lines and characters, all that he’s going to deliver is an action movie that’s big, loud and messy.  Most of the time, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but today’s audiences are a wee bit more complex than that.  What worked ten years ago, doesn’t necessarily work today.  I enjoyed it, personally, but the all the negatives bog down what could have been a truly stellar movie.

Final Recommendation:  Sticky-shoe theater.  7/10.

 

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