Potential New Alien Film?

Anybody who knows me and my taste in movies can tell you this: I’m a huge fan of the Alien films.  Even Alien Resurrection, which I consider to be the weakest of the bunch and not really deserving of the name.  It was still a good time, though.  But, I digress.  I love the Alien films, because they are fantastic examples of movie-making.  While Alien 3 certainly had its issues in front and behind the camera, it was no less a gritty and hard-hitting film.  These movies gave us a very unique and terrifying monster in the xenomorph: a creature that gestates inside a living host, and kills said host when it’s born by bursting its way through the host’s ribcage.  It’s certainly gruesome, and it was one of the most memorable scenes of the original film.  The original Alien was a run-away hit with a claustrophobic atmosphere and horrific situations.  The second film, Aliens, was less of a psychological thriller and more of an action film, even though it retained some of the elements of the first.  Directed by James Cameron, Aliens was a phenomenal success and an incredible sequel.  Actress Sigourney Weaver was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Ripley in the film.  That’s not something to be taken lightly, as the Academy tends to snub science fiction and fantasy films.  Alien also inspired books, novels, and video games throughout the years.  The franchise remains, to this date, one of the most popular movie franchises in the world.

Now, the reason I bring this up is because recently, director Neill Blomkamp released concept art for a defunct project.  That “defunct” project could possibly become another Alien film.  The art-work that was released is extraordinary.  It features the likeness of Sigourney Weaver as Ripley and Michael Biehn as Hicks.  There are also drawings of an Alien Queen and a ship that bears an uncanny resemblance to the derelict that was featured in the first film.  I’m going to link below this paragraph so you can this stuff out for yourselves.  It’s great stuff.  Now, keep in mind, that Blomkamp did these on his own without the studio’s knowledge.  He was kind of playing around with the concept as well developing it seriously.  All this comes as Neill Blomkamp prepares to release his latest film, Chappie.

Possible Alien Sequel Concept Art from Neill Blomkamp

If Neill Blomkamp gets approval from Fox Studios for a new Alien film, I’d be very excited.  Why?  Neill Blomkamp is one of my favorite new directors.  His work on District 9 and Elysium are simply astounding.  The man knows his science fiction, and knows how to get his actors to really deliver.  Another reason is that he showed Sigourney Weaver, who appears in Chappie, the artwork and she seems genuinely intrigued.  While I personally think that Ripley’s story has run her course, I’m still game for her appearing in one more film, especially if it sidesteps the third and fourth movies.  That would make a lot of people happy.  If there’s a director that could actually make this work, it would be Blomkamp.  I think he would be the right person to put in the director’s chair.  Ridley Scott, who directed the original Alien and Prometheus, is at work on a sequel to Prometheus as well as a sequel to Blade Runner.  So, he’s out of the running.  James Cameron?  He’s hard at work at writing and developing the sequels to Avatar.  Neill Blomkamp is the logical choice for this job, if Fox goes for it, and I think they would be stupid not to.  The Alien series suffered some drawbacks, not just from Alien 3 and Resurrection, but also from the lackluster Alien Vs. Predator spin-offs.  Prometheus was based in the same universe, but only had a passing connection to Alien.  Which is a shame, because the concept for Prometheus started out as a direct prequel to Alien.  Prometheus wasn’t a bad movie.  I loved it.  It was different, but it was visually spectacular and had some great ideas.  But the story and plot were all over the place.  My hope is that Fox contacts Neill Blomkamp and green-lights his Alien project.  The last film in the series was Alien Resurrection and that was back in 1997.  That was almost 20 years ago.  I think there is still a vested interest in the franchise.  Mainly because we’ve seen a couple of Alien videogames released in the past couple of years.  Granted Aliens: Colonial Marines was a bit of a joke for those of you who play video games, but Alien: Isolation was a fantastic comeback for the video game franchise.  Like Star Wars, I think there’s a great deal of possible stories to be told in the Alien universe.  It’s dark, dirty, and scary.  That’s exactly what an Alien film should be.  Whether or not Fox goes for it, I don’t know, it’s way too early to tell.  But the potential is huge.  What would I like to see?  Oh, the possibilities are endless.  I might make a follow-up post to share some of my ideas, but I’m going to wait and brainstorm it.  Any thoughts on this?  Good, bad: What say you?

Bad Movie: The Room. What have I just seen?!

Movie Trailer-The Room.  THE ROOM!!!

Director: Tommy Wiseau(If you can call him a director)

Run Time: 99 minutes that I will never, EVER get back.

Rated R for Retarded

Released: 2003…..unfortunately

Cast:
Tommy Wiseau: Johnny
Juliette Danielle: Lisa
Greg Sestero: Mark
Philip Haldiman: Denny

Bad movies are really a dime a dozen these days.  Don’t believe me?  All you have to do is turn on the TV to the Sy-Fy channel, Lifetime or any other channel that isn’t HBO.  I honestly believe that most filmmakers try not to make deliberately bad movies.  Even if they’re from The Asylum, they try to do the best they can based on the budget they have been given.  I’ve seen my fair share of bad movies over the years.  From Remo Williams to Highlander: The Source, I’ve been witness to some pretty crappy film-making.  Granted, it’s my choice to watch these suckers.  Sometimes I regret it, and sometimes I don’t.  I certainly don’t regret watching the Sharknado movies.  Those are actually a lot of fun.  Movies like that are self-conscious and don’t take themselves seriously at all.  Then you have movies that are crap that take themselves WAY too seriously.  These are ones that you laugh at, and the actors and crew don’t seem to be in on the joke.  Even Uwe Boll’s films have some form of entertainment to them.  At least he puts a little effort into his flicks.  Tommy Wiseau, on the other hand, I don’t think has the first clue how to make a movie.

Unceremoniously dumped on audiences back in 2003, this abomination of a movie follows Tommy…I’m sorry, JOHNNY through every day life doting on his cheating, backstabbing girlfriend, Juliette..oops, Lisa, while trying to get a promotion at his job.  Unbeknownst to him(and how he doesn’t figure this out early on, I will never know), Lisa is sleeping with his best friend, Greg, er, Mark, another horrendously acted “character.”  THAT is the gist of the “plot.”  The Room gained a great deal of notoriety when it was released.  Most rational people had declared it the worst movie ever made.  Truthfully, I would have to agree.  Everything about this movie is just plain awful.  Let’s talk about the “performances.”  Wow.  Nobody is trying, whatsoever.  I swear, these jokers are reading off a teleprompter or cue cards.  Tommy himself looks like he’s asleep throughout the whole thing, while uttering lines of such Writer’s Guild quality like, “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!”  His character greets everybody with “Oh, hi so-and-so.”  At one point, these people are at each other’s throats, and the next second they’re all buddy-buddy again.  Actually, you know what?  You have to see this for yourself, and I’m going to spare you the need to actually rent this garbage.  Watch it.  Watch it, I say!

Not much is really known about Tommy Wiseau.  He’s very secretive about his personal life.  From what I’ve read, he’s independently wealthy and doesn’t need to make movies to live.  The Room was apparently made on a 6 million dollar budget.  Nobody knows how he financed it.  I would assume he did it himself.  You could have fooled me.  It looks like something you could make in your back yard for 5 bucks.  The sets, the costumes…EVERYTHING is clearly cheap.  The sex scenes are completely random and hilarious to watch.  All the tension in the film is basically centered around who goes going to say the next terrible line.  The music is terrible, but then I would assume you already know that.  You know what’s funny?  The Room has become a cult classic of sorts.  There have been midnight showings where the audience members dress up as their favorite characters and basically clown around.  Apparently, it’s a movie that’s a lot more fun when you’re around other people.  It certainly deserves a Riff Trax, that’s for sure.  Oh, hi Riff Trax!  I think that Riff Trax sums it better than I ever could.

There is only one other movie that’s reached this level of notoriety and that’s Troll 2.  I haven’t seen it yet, but now I have to.  As I said before, bad movies are a dime-a-dozen, but it takes real talent to make something as dreadful as The Room.  Tommy Wiseau billed this movie as a serious drama, but it just ended up being unintentionally hilarious.  Sorry, Tommy.  Go back to wherever it is you came from and actually learn how to make semi-competent film.  The Room has set the bar SO low for movies, that it touches the ground.  Any future bad movies that I watch will be measured against The Room.  I’m not even sure how to score this one.  Let’s give it a bash: For the movie itself: 1/10.  For it’s unintentional hilarity: 10/10.  Overall…….still a 1/10, and I’m being generous.  If, for some unfathomable reason you are curious about this movie, just watch the links I posted.  They’re far more entertaining.  Tommy Wiseau’s character ended up shooting himself in the head at the end of the movie, presumably from the terrible script and acting.  So, yeah.  This one is definitely a bad movie.

“Stop ganging up on me!!!”

 

John Wick

Directed By: Chad Stahelski

Released: October 2014

Run Time: 101 Minutes

Rated R

Cast:
Keanu Reeves: John Wick
Michael Nyqvist: Viggo Tarasov
Alfie Allen: Iosef Tarasov
Willem Defoe: Marcus
Ian McShane: Winston

Action movies that feature a main character hell-bent on revenge are nothing new.  It’s a story line that goes back decades.  These days there are few action thrillers that are straight to the point.  It’s not always a bad thing for a movie to be straightforward like that.  Movies like Taken and Colombiana are some of the more recent flicks featuring a character that’s been wronged and is willing to do whatever it takes to set things right.  Generally, a lot of these action thrillers feature a character that is a total bad-ass.  Said bad-ass knows how to fight using either guns or his hands and feet.  There were a number of films last year that fit the bill.  One was The November Man starring Pierce Brosnan, which was absolutely fantastic.  Sabotage and The Raid 2 were also released last year.  Both were really good at what they did.  But it’s not often that we see Keanu Reeves take down the Russian mob.  Enter John Wick, released last year to fairly decent reviews.

John Wick stars Keanu Reeves as….John Wick, the guy that the Russian mafia used to call to eliminate issues that they couldn’t handle themselves.  So, Mr. Wick is a kind of a specialist.  After leaving the business behind to live a life of peace with his wife, she unexpectedly dies of cancer 5 years later.  Before her death, she arranges for a dog to be brought to him upon her death.  After encountering some nasty Russian mobsters at a gas station, they follow him home, beat him to a pulp, kill his dog, and steal his car.  To say this pisses him off is an understatement.  Digging up the weapons that he had buried years earlier, he systematically targets the Russian mafia to get to the person who took everything from him.  While the setup to the film seems a little cheesy, the film soon goes into overdrive and doesn’t stop.  It’s a non-stop action thrill-ride that’s light on substance, but heavy on style.

Keanu Reeves in an action movie really isn’t anything new.  He’s been in some of the coolest action movies ever: Point Break, Speed, and The Matrix Trilogy.  It’s kind of funny since the role that he’s really known for was Ted “Theodore” Logan from the Bill and Ted movies.  When he’s given the right material, Keanu Reeves can knock it out of the park, not just physically, but also in the acting department.  While the opening scene of John Wick seems a little cheesy, Reeves is actually given a chance to act a little bit.  But when he’s let off the leash, Reeves becomes one of the coolest assassins in cinema.  It’s clear that he prepared for the role, because the way he handles guns and hand-to-hand combat in this film, seem almost natural to him.  He’s supported by some pretty heavy-weight actors like Willem Defoe, who plays an aging assassin who may or may not be a villain.  Ian McShane briefly shows up as the owner of a hotel that caters specifically to hit-men.  He’s always fun to watch, even though he doesn’t get much to chew on.  Alfie Allen of Game of Thrones fame, plays Iosef, the son of the head of the Russian mob in New York.  This guy knows how to play a complete scumbag.  Michael Nyqvist plays Iosef’s father, who realizes what Iosef did and tries to defuse the situation to no avail.  John Wick will not be denied.  The action is impressively choreographed with interesting and awesome moves that only someone like Keanu Reeves could do with style.  It’s brutal, violent, and can be a hell of a lot of fun.  John Wick I feel is one of the better action movies of 2014.

The story is pretty much a straight-forward revenge tale.  There’s nothing particularly original here, yet I found myself getting emotionally involved.  Why?  I love dogs and watching the mobsters kill John’s dog in front of him enraged me considering the purpose the dog was supposed to serve.  It really did.  I think most people who love dogs as much as I do would feel the same thing.  That makes it easier to get behind the character and root for him unleashing hell on his assailants.  Watching John Wick gun down mobster after mobster provided me with a sense of catharsis.  Watching the mobsters get what’s coming to them was extremely satisfying, especially in the way that Wick does it.  Make no mistake, John Wick is not a good guy.  He’s a cold-blooded killer who’s been pushed too far, and yet we root for him.    If there’s a nitpick that I have with the film, is that it can feel a bit like a video game at times and some of the blood is obviously CG.  That’s pretty much it.  The action is solid and moves at a break-neck pace.  This is Chad Stahelski’s directorial debut, and it is a knock-out hit as far as I’m concerned.  The man has intimate experience with fight coordination and stunt-work so having him direct a movie like this actually makes a lot of sense, since he knows a great deal about what it takes to make an effective action film.  Overall, this is a very solid action film.  Word is that they’re trying to go forward with a second film.  Given how well the first movie turned out, I’m looking forward to it.  This one comes easily recommended.  9/10.

Worst Sequels Ever

A while back I made a list of some of the best sequels to movies ever made.  I mentioned some really fantastic films like Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Wolf Creek 2, X-2: X-men United, and Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.  These were awesome movies because they took what was already great about the original film and improved on it in nearly every way.  They proved that you can take an already successful film and make a worthy follow-up that people will flock to.  Unfortunately, not all movies get good sequels.  Sometimes, a poor sequel can be the end of a film franchise.  Yet, on the other side of the coin, even a bad sequel can be successful.  So what makes a sequel bad?  The script can be overblown or completely inconsistent with bad acting, dialogue, visual effects and/or poor plot points.  That’s not to say that these movies are BAD movies per se, but they have no chance of hitting that bar that the original film set.  Some of the films I’m going to mention are going to be ones that I enjoyed.  Again, a bad sequel doesn’t always equal a bad movie.  So, let’s get this train-wreck on the move.  Note: As usual, these are not going to be in any particular order with the exception of one.  Some of you may already know what it is, but I’ll get to it.

Spider-Man 3

Awesome trailer, no?  I’ll be honest, for the most part, Sam Raimi’s third entry into the franchise isn’t a total loss.  It has some really awesome action sequences and great visual effects.  It can be genuinely thrilling.  Thomas Haden Church turns in a fantastic performance as Sand Man.  He should have been the main villain of the film.  But there’s quite a few problems with this movie.  One: Venom.  I love the character, he can be a bit of an anti-hero in the comics as well as a super-villain, but they screwed the pooch here.  They cast Topher Grace as Eddie Brock.  Brock was a pretty big dude.  Topher isn’t.  He doesn’t get a whole lot of screen-time as Venom, and when he does, he doesn’t do the whole “we” thing like in the comics or the cartoons.  He also goes out like a little bitch in the end.  Two:  Too many villains.  Not only do you have Venom and Sand Man in the picture together, but the movie also throws in the New Green Goblin to spice things up.  Each of Spider-Man’s encounters with these characters could have easily been a movie.  There are too many plot points to give a cohesive narrative and that leads me to the biggest issue with the movie I’ve got:  “Emo” Peter Parker.  In the comics and the story, a black alien substance attaches itself to Parker’s suit and when he puts it on, it has an affect on him.  It enhances his strength considerably, but it also exposes Peter Parker’s darker side.  That’s a great plot point, but there’s a problem: It doesn’t turn out very well.  Don’t believe me?  Take a look at this.  It’s embarrassing.  That’s not the worst part:  The dance numbers.  Dance numbers?  In a Spider-Man movie?!  That is one of the biggest face-palm moments I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie.  Sure, Spider-Man 3 did pretty well at the box-office, but critically, it got lambasted.  5 years later, the franchise gets a re-boot starring Andrew Garfield.  It actually wound being a much better film.  Spider-Man 3 was a mess, to be sure.  But it wasn’t the worst sequel I’ve ever seen.  Oh, no.  There are plenty more on the way.

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome

The original Mad Max film starring Mel Gibson was a brilliant and spectacular film.  It gave us a small glimpse into post-apocalyptic Australia.  While the apocalyptic wastelands were mostly inferred, Mad Max fired on all cylinders when it came to the car chases and stunts.  It was awesome.  The sequel The Road Warrior took it to whole new level, showing us the wastelands and anarchy of the aftermath of the apocalypse.  Warring tribes fight for fuel while Max is trying to make is way in the world, when he’s dragged into the conflict.  This movie has some of the best car chases ever put on film.  The last 40 minutes is a thrill-ride.  That brings us to the tepid third film.  Beyond Thunderdome is a horrible PG-13 mish-mash of bad ideas and Tina Turner.  It also turns Max into some kind of savior for a group of parentless urchins who live in an oasis somewhere in the wastelands.  Great, they turned “Mad” Max Rockatansky into a baby-sitter.  Then there’s Tina Turner.  I think she’s a fantastic singer, but an actress she is not.  When it comes to playing a villain, she comes across as a laughing-stock.  There are things in the film that remind me of the previous movies, but it’s mired between horrendous writing and a bare-bones story.  This is what happens when you take a series that’s known for it’s R-rated brutality and violence and water it down to try and appeal to the masses.  It NEVER works.  You just end up alienating the fans you’ve already got.

The Matrix Revolutions

Movie Trailer

The Matrix Trilogy is a prime example of what happens when you take a very interesting premise that really wasn’t that complicated to begin with and stretch it out for three movies.  The original film was revolutionary.  It gave us an interesting story with very interesting characters(yes, that includes Mr. Anderson a.k.a Neo).  But the film also delivered on an awesome mix of kung-fu, gun-play and Cartesian philosophy.  It was a mix that really worked and gave us one of the best sci-fi action movies of the decade.  The second film delivered on the action, but it got hampered with some really bad writing and more philosophical mumbo-jumbo.  The Matrix Revolutions goes to a whole new level of stupid.  Honestly, I can’t deny that the action and visual effects in these movies is top-notch.  It’s just a shame that the Wachowski’s opted to hammer home more philosophical junk that makes absolutely no sense and an ending that is so completely anti-climactic that it pissed me off.  Turning Neo into a Christ-like savior was completely unnecessary.  He could have just beaten Smith to death and that would have been the end of it.  But no, the Wachowski’s tried to make a statement and it ended up falling flat on its face.  Reloaded and Revolutions were shot back-to-back, and I think it was clear that the Wachowskis ran out of ideas.  I happen to like each of the films, and the third film has an awesome fight between Neo and Smith, but you have to watch the movie just for the action, nothing else, that’s all it’s good for.

Any of the Scorpion King Sequels

I’m not even going to bother with a trailer for these, because they are just plain horrendous.  The first movie was already a spin-off of The Mummy films, but at least it had the presence of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  It was a fun little diversion  with some pretty witty dialogue and some awesome action.  It showcased Dwayne Johnson’s potential as an action star.  It should have ended there.  It didn’t.  We got three sequels.  Scorpion King 2 is actually a prequel, but lumping it with the others because of it’s horrificness.  That word should be in the Miriam-Webster Dictionary.  It used to be that direct-to-video movies were generally awful, and while that is still the case for the most part, a good chunk of those movies are actually pretty decent, just not the The Scorpion King ones.  I was actually excited for Scorpion King 2 when it was announced and I blind-bought it.  That was a mistake.  It was horrible in every aspect.  The worst part is the guy who directed it: Russell Mulcahy.  You know what else he directed?  Highlander.  Guess he is a one-hit wonder.  The other movies?  Not nearly as bad, but still pretty lousy, although, the guy they got to play The Scorpion King wasn’t too bad.  The first movie ain’t shabby, but stay away from the sequels.  They are truly bad sequels.

Highlander: The Source

Speaking of Highlander, here’s one.  I’m going to make this one easy on me: Just read this.  It’ll tell you everything you need to know about how this film craps over the franchise.  Stick with the original or Anime movies.  You’ll thank me later.

Alien Resurrection

Movie Trailer

Sometimes when I think about this one, I feel a little conflicted.  It’s not a bad movie at all.  It really isn’t.  It’s awesome to see Sigourney Weaver reprise the role of Ripley again, even if it is a clone.  The writing is surprisingly sharp, thanks to Joss Whedon.  It also has some pretty quirky characters played by the likes of Ron Perlman, Michael Wincott, Wynona Ryder and Brad Dourif.  That is quite the cast, and they all do great jobs.  It’s also a very thrilling film in it’s own right and has a unique sense of humor about it.  That’s also where the problem is.  It’s too light-hearted for its own good.  The first three movies were very dark, atmospheric and bleak.  Resurrection certainly is bleak, but the tone of the movie is just too different from the others.  It just doesn’t feel like an Alien film.  It’s one of those movies that isn’t really that bad, but it fails as a sequel.  It relies on too much cliches and tropes inherent in many sci-fi movies.  It gave us a really creepy new monster, though.  I’ll give it that.  For the gore-hounds, there’s much to like here.  I personally tend to not include Alien Resurrection as part of the series.  As far as I’m concerned, Ripley’s story ended in the third film.  I would love to see another Alien movie that doesn’t involve Ripley.  The stories are out there as we’ve got hundreds of books and comics to draw from.

A Good Day To Die Hard

Bruce Willis used to be one of the world’s most bankable stars.  He was very reliable when it came to acting.  He was very, very good.  The movie that really put him on the map was John McTiernan’s Die Hard.  This was one of the best action movies of the 80s and basically made Willis a household name overnight.  He’s been in numerous action vehicles that have done pretty well, but recently, he’s really started going downhill.  I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the fourth Die Hard movie, but it actually ended up being a pretty decent fare for a PG-13 movie.  Watch the unrated DVD instead, though.  A Good Day To Die Hard is the latest entry in the series.  Honestly, I got a kick out of it.  It’s action-packed and fast-paced.  The banter between him and his son, Jack is amusing at times.  Here’s the problem.  They took a New York cop and put him in Russia and made the villains generic…..Russians.  I would’ve been happy with another Gruber as the baddie.  Nope.  It also doesn’t feel like Bruce is giving his all in this movie.  It’s a shame, because it’s the role that he’s most associated with.  It’s a good action movie, but it’s a poor Die Hard film.  Word is that they are trying to go forward with a 6th movie.  God, I hope not.  Either that, or Bruce Willis needs to step up his game, because he’s starting to get too old for this stuff.

Batman and Robin

You knew it was coming.  You knew.  Here it is.  There’s a reason why I saved this one for last.  I’m a huge fan of Batman, always have been.  The first two movies with Michael Keaton were amazing.  Even Batman Forever still maintained that darkness that had been a part of the series thus far.  It was a fun and colorful film that actually felt like a comic book.  Batman And Robin has no right to exist.  Warner Bros tried to go for a more family friendly affair with this one so they took out one of the most important elements that made Batman what he is: His damaged psyche from witnessing the murder of his parents.  That’s pretty damaging stuff, and to see that element removed entirely just doesn’t make sense.  Everything went wrong with this entry.  The casting was just bizarre.  George Clooney as Batman and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze?  Dreadful.  I like both actors, I really do.  But they have no place in a movie like this.  I could actually see Arnold as Freeze, though, in a better film.  But Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl?  That was a colossal screw-up.  I honestly don’t think her career’s recovered at all.  The character is supposed to be Gordon’s daughter, not Alfred’s niece.  Don’t get me started on Bane.  Oh, my god, they really butchered that one.  The visual effects are terrible and everything looks like plastic.  The writing is a complete disaster and the fight choreography is generally lousy.  Also: The puns.  I’m good with puns and I love a cheesy joke, but the puns in Batman And Robin are cringe-worthy.  I’ve got one word to say about the suits:  Nipples.  Yes, they had the audacity to put nipples on the bat-suit.  Did they really think it was necessary to make the suit anatomically correct?  There are a few bright spots here.  One, Poison Ivy.  Despite the writing, I actually like Uma Thurman as the character.  Bruce’s conversations with Alfred are also pretty good and fairly powerful.  It’s just a shame the rest of the film is a complete wreck.  Director Joel Schumaker has since apologized for it, as did George Clooney.  This film would have killed the franchise completely if Warner Bros. didn’t put it on the back-burner for a while.  Thankfully, Christopher Nolan saved the fanchise with his Dark Knight Trilogy, starring Christian Bale.

That’s my list for the worst movie sequels.  What are some of yours?  Feel free to comment below.